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Beyoncé's Dad Says Those Divorce Rumors Were Just a Stunt

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Beyoncé-Jay Z Divorce News, Part 27,000: Rumors of a split were all a stunt! To drum up ticket sales for the couple's 'On the Run' tour! Duh!

Or, at least, so says Mathew Knowles (a.k.a. Beyoncé's dad), in a new radio interview with a Houston station. While he doesn't totally, totally come out and say it, he implies as much when he says things like "Sometimes [rumors] ignite that tour. It's called a 'jedi mind trick.' The 'jedi mind trick' fools you a lot of times. Things you see sometimes are [poof noise]." When the DJ brings up The Elevator Incident, Knowles says, "All I know is the 'jedi mind trick': everybody's talking about it, ticket sales went up, Solange's album sales went up 200%."

But wait, wait, wait: is he just expertly trolling us?

If America's First Couple really are calling it quits, wouldn't he probably be inclined to deny those rumors to protect his daughter and her privacy (and the only plausible denial the family can use at this point is that the Carters are so media savvy they created the damn rumor themselves)?

But honestly if you think too hard about who's trolling who in this scenario, you'll lose all sense of reality, your head will explode and the Beygency will come sweep up your remains.

It's worth pointing out that the rest of the short interview is just as cuckoo: Knowles has a rant about people misspelling his name ("Most of the time they put two 'T's in it and there's only one 'T' in Mathew! Can everybody get that right? It's one 'T'! It's M-A-T-H-E-R [Ed note: uh, R?], the Jewish version of it"), gives a shoutout to TMZ head honcho Harvey Levin ("Hey, Harvey! Whassup dog?"), and coyly intimates that there might be a Destiny's Child reunion happening next year.

One of these days Bravo's gotta do a show about Dad-Managers and get Mathew "One T" Knowles, Joe Simpson, and Billy Ray Cyrus living together in a McMansion in, like, Calabasas.

[h/t Dlisted]

10 New Indie Books and Zines That We Love Right Now

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1. Snake Eyes: A Nicolas Cage Activity Book by Various

Snake Eyes Cover.jpgUncage Nicolas by Jack Bailey.jpeg
The Nicolas Cage book of our nightmares dreams is finally a reality. Only with your help can Nicolas become uncaged, get dressed, and hit on illustrated women. The book features work by Ed Cheverton, Donya Todd, Dazeray, Dan Woodger, Laura Callaghan, and more. It's all great fun and possibly Nic Cage's best role yet. You can buy it from Haunt Me Studio, here.


2. Texts From My Mom by Christie Ann Reynolds

tfmm-gif-01.gifTexts From My Mom is a book of poems that are comprised of actual text messages from the author's mother. The book is a funny and touching portrait of adult daughterhood as the author's mom warns about the dangerous nature of laptops and brings up high school ex-boyfriends and grandkids at the worst times. If your mom doesn't already text you way too much, you can by Texts From My Mom here.


3. That's Not Relevant by Isaiah Toothtaker

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That's Not Relevant is possibly the first all-emoji art book. In the book, emojis get the hip-hop makeover that we didn't even know they needed. Hopefully the Drake emoji, pictured above, becomes a real thing ASAP. For now, buy That's Not Relevant from Spork Press, here.


4. Why Fi by Ana Carette

tumblr_n83i22U3hz1qzu4k2o1_1280.jpgAna Carrete's Why Fi is possibly the funniest zine that we've read in a while. A line from a poem titled "Tweet Drafts 1" reads, "performance art piece where you constantly look expensive but you're a broke ass bitch." We definitely know that feel. In addition to tweets, Carrete reflects on feminism, mermaids, the Internet and Britney Spears' head shaving moment. Buy Why Fi here.


5. Matt Meets Vik by Timothy Willis Sanders

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Timothy Willis Sanders' debut novel brings the mundane to life and mashes up "considerations of communication, food, existence, pornography, fast food, drugs, the internet, art, money." Matt meets Vik chronicles the lifespan of a relationship and loneliness with humorous observations along the way. Buy Matt Meets Vik here.


6. I Am Here by Ashley Opheim

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I Am Here is your mystical aura reading on the go. It's also an excellent poetry book that attempts to reconcile the spiritual with the digital. By I Am Here from Metatron Press, here.


7. The Billy Joel Book by Dust Art Collective

Screen Shot 2014-08-28 at 2.05.54 PM.pngWe're pretty sure that all the Billy Joel references since the millennium could be counted on one hand. There was that one time in The Office and uh, this zine. We're just glad Billy Joel is finally getting the artistic recognition he deserves. Buy The Billy Joel Book here.


8. Cunny Poem Vol. 1 by Bunny Rogers

bunny-poem.jpgArtist Bunny Rogers turned her Tumblr blog into an art book for Cunny Poem Vol. 1. The beautiful collection is more of an art piece than book but each poem is cuttingly crafted around themes of youth, loneliness, and the condition of girlhood. Buy Cunny Poem from Printed Matter, here.


9. Mala by Monica McClure

mala-web-cover.pngMonica McClure's poetry collection embraces the chiflada: the girly, the messy, and the crazy. In Mala McClure explores her Latina femininity and heritage. The result is touching and vulnerable but also empowering. 


10. Pity the Animal by Chelsea Hodson

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Pity the Animal is a long essay about what the body can endure. It "explores the concept of human submission and commodification by way of window displays, wild animals, performance art, and sugar daddy dating websites." Buy Pity the Animal from Future Tense Books, here.

James Franco Explains Kinky Sex For You

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"Hair pulling, spitting, molesting the titties...and then we'll get you on your hands and knees and finger bang you to orgasm." So says a fetish porn director to an actress filming a scene in Kink, the amazing new documentary directed by Christina Voros, demystifying the goings on at fetish content producer Kink.com. The wild sex scenes being shot for kink.com are revealed to be done with carefully calculated doses of safeness and consensuality. But in doing so, the film shows scenarios laden with all sorts of devices -- drilling noises, shrieking, and explicitly kinky sex -- leading one to think that the only producer for this sort of thing would be the game-for-anything James Franco. And sure enough, Franco did produce it. Where does the guy find the time?

He even did a Q&A to support the film at IFC the other night, along with Voros, his old NYU classmate with whom he's done projects like an upcoming documentary about the making of a Saturday Night Live episode. (Now that's real torture.) "We're now gonna do a live show," joked Franco as the two took the stage, he looking casual in a perfectly suitable black leather jacket and jeans, holding a deli cup of coffee and radiating intensity. The man is sizzling in person and absolutely riveting, even when he's looking far off into space. He explained that he'd filmed another doc at Kink's Armory in San Francisco and was given a tour of the place -- "five or six floors, all these props. The Humbler, the Bird Box -- all that stuff. They said I could watch them make a video. It was someone in a cage and someone being mean to them, so it was pretty intense. Then they'd cut and figure out what they were gonna do next, and the difference between how they were acting in front of the camera and how they were talking to each other when the cameras weren't rolling was so different. Everybody was part of a team." The fascinating dichotomy between the faux abuse and the real teamwork is one of the things that inspired him to make the movie.

kinkposter.jpg"It took a little time to convince them that we had no agenda other than capturing what they do," explained Franco. Reality show-style producers had previously come in and tried to distort things and create problems, so the Kink folks were understandably distrustful, but eventually they all submitted to the cameras (except for one girl whose family is ultra religious; she didn't want to be cut out of Christmas.)

Franco and Voros said they soaked in a lot of info about the BDSM world as they so vigorously explored it. "As we learned," said the actor/writer/director/producer/poet, "the submissive is the one who's in control and can decide when things have gone too far." It's the power of the underdog. But they were far from submissive in promoting the finished film, which took six months to edit. "We premiered it at Sundance," said Franco, "which is I'm sure not filled with regular Kink viewers. I don't know, maybe it is!" he added, laughing.

Chirped Voros, "A lot of people wanted to get on that party list."

"If you are a Kink viewer," continued Franco, "where do you get to see these performers taking about what they do or see how it's made? One of the stronger guiding principles is this movie isn't made for titillation. It's made to show this world. Like with Child of God [the 2013 film he directed based on a Cormac McCarthy book], there's content that's very shocking, and you want to give these shocks to the audience, but you don't want to lose the audience."

The film almost does so, it's that gruesome in its exploration of the hormonal effects of fear and degradation. But just scream out your safe word and you'll be fine.

Thumbnail photo by PatrickMcMullan.com

Six Movies Not To Miss In September

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LoveIsStrange.jpgLove Is Strange

A tender portrait of two aging lovers, Ben (John Lithgow) and George (Alfred Molina), who finally decide to marry after 39 years together. Unfortunately it results in George losing his job as a music teacher and they are forced to sell their apartment and split up --  sleeping separately at relations around Manhattan. George ends up with a gay cop (Cheyenne Jackson) and his boyfriend, who entertain nightly. And Ben stays at his nephew's (Darren Burrows) with wife (Marisa Tomei) and moody son (the exceptional Charlie Tahan). Ira Sachs' film is heartbreaking without being maudlin or false. The film ends on such an unexpected, poignant, moment of grace it literally took my breath away. One of the year's best films.

MV5BMTQ5MTM5MDY5NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjA1NzY3MTE@._V1_SY425_CR5,0,630,425_AL_.jpgThe Disappearance Of Eleanor Rigby

A married couple, Conor (James McAvoy) and Eleanor (Jessica Chastain), have suffered an incredible loss and their relationship has unraveled. Suicidal, Eleanor has moved back home with her mother (the sublime Isabelle Huppert) and father (William Hurt) and sister (Jess Weixler), and has gone back to school, befriending a sardonically smart professor (Viola Davis). Conor is left tending a failing restaurant with his buddy (Bill Hader), and heartsick over losing Eleanor. So he begins stalking her to win her back. This extraordinary film is winningly directed by Ned Benson with great economy, artful simplicity and heartbreaking poignancy.  It's a movie that deservedly breaks your heart.

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The Guest

Adam Wingard (You're Next!) goes for a different kind of home invasion with this wickedly enjoyable film about a super soldier (Downton Abbey's Dan Stevens) who shows up at the door of the Peterson family, claiming to have served with their late son in Iraq. He consoles the parents (Sheila Kelley and Leland Orser), who have been suffering with loss, and they invite him to stay with them. He wins over their son (Brendan Meyer) by putting a beat down on the bullies at school that torment him. But the teenage daughter (Maika Monroe) is suspicious, and when people start getting murdered in town she begins to wonder what kind of monster is sleeping down the hall from her. Stevens has the great ability of being utterly charming and malevolent at the blink of an eye, and when he goes all Terminator at the end (at a high school gym decked out as a Halloween maze) he's a joy and a terror to behold in this sardonic suspense flick.

Maps-Stars.jpgMaps To The Stars

 David Cronenberg's latest is an incendiary, corrosive dark comedy about the grubby desperate side of Hollywood from an original script by Bruce Wagner. Two stars are haunted by visions of the dead. Julianne Moore plays Havana Segrand, an actress frantic to land a role in a remake of film her own mother starred in. The other is young Hollywood brat Benjie Weiss (the incredible Evan Bird), who struck gold in a "Bad Babysitter" franchise and is just out of rehab. Havana hires Agatha (Mia Wasikowska), a strange girl with burn scars all over her body and  secrets of her own, as her assistant. The rest of the cast -- Robert Pattinson, John Cusack, Olivia Williams --  are superb, and Cronenberg's sleek, cold eye gives the film a creepy, unsettling, sheen. Julianne Moore infuses her needy, nightmarish character with real compassion. It's a staggering, full-throttled, performance.

skeltontwinshaderwiig.jpgThe Skeleton Twins

A bittersweet black comedy about an estranged brother and sister (Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig) who, growing up in a crappy household, fiercely bonded with an "us against the world" mentality. Milo (Hader) is an aspiring actor in LA, who, after a bad breakup with a boyfriend attempts suicide. Maggie (Wiig) rushes to his side and gathers him up and drags him to her upstate New York home where she is a dental assistant and married to a loveable lug (Luke Wilson). The cracks to Maggie's mask of normality start to show with the arrival of her brother. Smartly directed by Craig Johnson, with two spectacular performances by Wiig and Hader. To watch them bounce off each other is a joy. There's a wonderful funky humor and heart to this film.


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Frank

A fabulously freaky, darkly comic and unique gem about a dreamy British lad Jon (Domhnall Gleeson) who is accidentally thrown in with an eccentric band as keyboardist. The leader of the band is Frank (Michael Fassbender) who is always wearing an oversized, big, round, painted head which he never takes off. The band is hostile to Jon, especially Clara (a fierce Maggie Gyllenhaal) who is very protective of the sensitive, weird, Frank, but they thaw when all of them spend a long time at a wintery retreat composing an album. Director Lenny Abrahamson's marvelous film is achingly odd and, ultimately, strangely tender. This movie broke my brain.

This Boy's Reaction to His Mom's Pregnancy is EXASPERATING

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This little boy just found out his mom is having another baby and it's EXASPERATING. [TastefullyOffensive]


Snoop Dogg teaches the children about baboons on Jimmy Kimme's nature program, Plizzanet Earth. [Uproxx]


If you need us, we'll be channeling this cool-vibes chihuahua getting a neck massage all weekend. [TO]

tumblr_nazbeuIeWa1qjcxvqo1_500.jpg"S&M Tea Party" is a really good idea for a photo shoot theme. We will get on that.  [FYouNoFMe]
tumblr_nb12x7eCXV1tkcicio1_1280.png The Illuminati KNOWS WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. [MoneyMessages]


This 102-year-old man is likely the oldest and happiest person to ever do an ice bucket challenge video. So stop being in such a bad mood! [TO]

RICKPERRY68.pngRick Perry's 1968 Texas A&M photos are CHILLING. [Mlkshk]

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Hey. Have a great weekend. [Mlkshk\


Our Guide to Labor Day in NYC

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labordayguide.jpgIt's a three-day weekend party in the USA, what what! Even if you're not spending 72 straight hours drinking cans of Bud Heavy on a dock somewhere this weekend (in other words, you're stuck in the city), we've got you covered with 15 fun parties, concerts, film screenings, story slams and more happening on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

19-etxl1.jpgFRIDAY

#Rave: A Rave-Themed Rave at Glasslands
If earnestly going to a rave isn't your thing, try going to a #rave (pronounced "hashtag rave" with as much irony as possible) and putting your mid-90s nostalgia into overdrive. The night will call upon the ghosts of EDM past and present with DJ collective ADVENTURE[s] acting as your spiritual guide.
Glasslands, 289 Kent Ave., Brooklyn. Doors at 11:30pm. Tickets are $5 and available HERE.

Saved by the 90s at (Le) Poisson Rouge
Can nothing satisfy your insatiable '90s nostalgia? Don't worry, we've got you covered. The Bayside Tigers (the band, not Saved by the Bell's football team) are playing a set at Le Poisson Rouge and it's gonna be, like, totally rad.
(Le) Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker St. Doors at 11pm.Tickets are $12 in advance and available HERE.

Electric Zoo Official After Party at Output
Do androids dance? Who knows. But if you're a party animal and you know it, head to Williamsburg to dance your face off with Hot Since 82 at the official Electric Zoo after party.
Output, 74 Wythe Ave., Brooklyn. Doors at 10pm. Tickets are $40 and can be purchased HERE.  


Cirque Fridays at Highline Ballroom
If you want to feel like you're spending your Labor Day weekend in Vegas, check out Cirque Fridays where EDM-meets-Cirque du Soleil. Expect to watch insanely flexible aerialists in neon leotards spin above your head as you dance with considerably less flexibility. 
Highline Ballroom, 431 W 16th St. Doors at 11pm. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased HERE.

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SATURDAY

Fashion Week: A View From The Mad Men Era
For those who are absolutely dying for fashion week to start The Paley Center has your fashion fix covered. They're screening Eye on New York (1967), which looks into the history of mens' fashion trends, and Bacall and the Boys (1968), which features fashion interviews with the late, great Lauren Bacall.
The Paley Center for Media, 25 West 52nd St. 2pm. Tickets with general admission.


DAY LIFE NYC Boat Party

Ideally, we'd all be someplace -- any place -- that's just not the city this weekend. But don't feel so bad. Rumor has it that the ros
é supply is running dangerously low out in the Hamptons so they can't be having that much fun. If you're still craving a semi-getaway join DAY LIFE as they take to the seas for a boat party, complete with DJs and live music.
The Cabana (Marco Polo Cruises at E. 23rd St.). 1pm-5pm. Tickets are $30 and can be purchased HERE.

MoMA PS1: Warm Up
Get yourself to Long Island City for another Saturday of live music and DJ sets at MoMA PS1. The lineup includes Benj B, Dam-Funk, DJ Marfox, and more.
MoMA PS1, 22-25 Jackson Ave.
3-9pm. Tickets are $18 in advance and can be purchased HERE.  

 
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SUNDAY

Topshop x Playland Summer Sundays
Rockaway's Playland Motel has been home to Topshop's beach bash all summer. This weekend marks their last party of the season with sets by L-VIS 1990, Teengirl Fantasy and dreamy electro singer Lafawndah.
Playland Motel, 97-20 Rockaway Beach Blvd., Queens. 4pm-Late. FREE. 

Excellent Brunch at Nitehawk Cinema
Party time, excellent! Catch a screening of Wayne's World at Williamsburg's favorite dine-in theater, Nighthawk Cinema.
Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Ave., Brooklyn. Noon. Tickets are available HERE.  


Roberta's 1st Annual Jerk Off & Bikini Bike Wash
Head to Bushwick fave Roberta's for their first-ever bikini bike wash party where'll you find booze, pizza (of course), and DJ Spliffington on jamz duty. Sadly it's no block party, but they had us at pizza.
Roberta's, 261 Moore St., Brooklyn. 1-9pm. FREE.

Rub-A-Grub at Do Or Dine
Sound Liberation Front and Do or Dine are back at it again for Rub-A-Grub, their regular backyard food and music bash. With a three-part menu, drinks, soul music beats from DJ Akalepse, and classic hip-hop from DJ Still Life, you can expect this party to provide the quintessential end of summer experience and good vibes all around.
Do Or Dine, 1108 Bedford Ave., Brooklyn. 2-10pm. Tickets are $15 in advance and available HERE.    


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MONDAY

Fool's Gold Day Off

The annual Fool's Gold Day Off party is back with a smorgasbord of hip-hop and electronic music including sets by Danny Brown, French Montana, Brenmar and more.  
50 Kent Ave., Brooklyn. 3pm. Tickets are $15 in advance and available HERE.

Labor Day Brunch at Maison Premiere
If you're feeling fancy, treat yourself to a decadent brunch of oysters, chilled seafood, and the obligatory bloody mary on Bedford. Brunch and live music starts at noon.
Maison Premiere, 298 Bedford Ave. Noon-onwards.

Greenpoint Heights Trivia Night

You know what's super fun? Spending the entire day drinking and then spending the night attempting to answer obscure trivia questions. Trust us, it really is hilarious. If you want to finally use your self-designed liberal arts degree or you're just feeling up for the challenge, head to Greenpoint Heights bar at 8pm.
Greenpoint Heights Bar, 278 Nassau Ave., Brooklyn. 8pm. FREE
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The Moth Story Slam at The Bell House
If you consider yourself more of a drunk poet than a drunk quiz master, head to The Bell House to tell your tale. Monday night's theme is "beauty" and, as per usual, storytellers are chosen at random from a hat. Go just to watch or to improv the next great American novel. Good luck.
The Bell House, 149 7th St., Brooklyn. Doors at 7:30pm, show starts at 8pm. $8 at the door.

Medical Marijuana and Why Governor Cuomo Can't Take the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

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BFA_2052_215102.jpg(Photo by Carly Otness/BFAnyc.com)

The sopping wet army of ALS Ice Bucket challengers now includes 26 governors among its ranks, but one state head can't join them in good conscience. New York's Andrew Cuomo received the challenge from his Republican gubernatorial opponent Rob Astorino weeks ago, and Cuomo has yet to undergo the chill and pass it along. Perhaps he anticipates getting flack for the hypocrisy of standing against ALS via viral video while allowing his constituents who suffer from the disease to progress without a medicine that could be critical to extending their survival.

ALS -- also known as Lou Gehrig's disease -- is a degenerative nerve disease that strikes at random and kills the sufferer in two to five years of onset. There is no treatment and no cure. In recent years, the neuroprotective qualities of medical cannabis have been shown to slow the onset of ALS in lab mice, prolonging lifespan and the number of quality years before terminal degeneration. Pending further research on human specimens, cannabis could mean salvation for 30,000 Americans suffering from ALS. Those who live in one of the 23 states (and DC) that have medical marijuana will be able to get their hands on it, unless that state is New York. Governor Cuomo signed the Compassionate Care Act (CCA) -- a medical marijuana bill -- into law this past June but the state's dispensary system won't be up and running for another 17 months (18 months from the time the bill was signed into law). That means that a lot more people will die of cannabis-treatable diseases while living in a state with legal medical cannabis.

Before those 17 months are up, Cuomo could take a few actions that would ensure emergency access to marijuana for patients of ALS, severe seizure disorders, cancer and every other life-threatening disease included in the law. According to Gabriel Sayegh, State Director of New York for the Drug Policy Alliance, there are three ways in which he can do it.

1. Declare a public health emergency through the New York Department of Health and expedite the dispensary implementation process for at least a couple of medical marijuana producers in the state. It might be a bit of a drive for some of the patients, but at least critically ill New Yorkers would have access within their state.

2. Expand the pharmaceutical trials for Epidiolex, an epilepsy drug containing the marijuana-derived compound, CBD. This wouldn't benefit those with ALS, who require THC, but it would expand access for those with chronic seizure disorders, many of whom are young children. Cuomo has requested that the New York Department of Health expedite the process specifically for these cases, but nothing has come of it yet.

3. Ship weed in from other states. Obtain a federal waiver for the interstate transfer of cannabis from a nearby state like New Jersey or Rhode Island. This would require bypassing the provision in CCA that says New York medical marijuana patients must consume cannabis produced within the state's borders.

Each of the options has its own challenges, but they are realistic. "This may not be possible politically," Sayegh says, "But in the world of hypotheticals, and if there was enough political will, it certainly could be done, as complicated as it is."

So what's stopping him? It's unclear whether or not Cuomo will pursue any of these options at all. By all accounts, he seems to hate the idea of legalizing marijuana in any form. His involvement in the passage of the CCA was begrudging at best. He only hinted at his purported open-mindedness on this issue last year, as New Yorkers made it clear that they want medical marijuana in their state.

Despite the widespread support, the CCA failed in 2013, but Cuomo sensed the shift in opinion. Clinging to a conservative stance on marijuana would no longer fly in New York, so his administration came up with a way to derail any real medical marijuana legislation and simultaneously appear supportive of it -- a strategic half-step. It totally didn't work. Marijuana advocates lambasted him over his executive order for extremely limited medical marijuana with 20 access locations for the state's nearly 20 million people.

In the summer of 2014, when it was imminent that some form of a medical marijuana law would pass the state legislature and cross his desk, Cuomo began stripping the law of the essential tenets that made him uncomfortable. In addition to scaling back dispensary locations to the 20 statewide that he originally wanted, he also managed to restrict the disease list, and ban smoking marijuana altogether. These are not the actions of someone who wants his constituents to benefit from a newly discovered medicine. They are the attempts of a politician to remain on what he perceives to be the right side of history. That must be it, because if his re-election strategy is to oppose something that 83% of the state supports, then someone on his campaign staff should get fired.

Whatever Cuomo's hang-ups about marijuana are, they're preventing him from rolling with the tide on the issue, and it's revealing his squareness. Plenty of governors oppose legalization, including Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper, who signed the recreational marijuana bill in his state not because he supported it but because that's what the people wanted. We don't have the benefit of voter initiatives in New York, so we're stuck relying on a total weed hater to make it happen. As modernity drags him kicking and screaming into the uncharted realm of weed, it seems highly unlikely that Cuomo will do anything to expedite the process of medical marijuana implementation in his state.

It's a bummer for the governor, because there is no way he can do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge without looking like an asshole. But honestly, New Yorkers with ALS depending on medical marijuana don't need that kind of gesture of support from Cuomo when a few strokes of his pen could do so much more.

Juliette Lewis Channels Her Inner Riot Grrrl for Kelly & Cal

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BFA_873_80808.jpg(Photo by Billy Farrell / BFAnyc.com)

Juliette Lewis is holed up in her car in a Wilmington, North Carolina Whole Foods parking lot. It's around 100 degrees outside by her own estimation and she's got the air conditioner cranked as she fields a marathon of calls in 15 minute bursts. It's a one-woman press junket of sorts, an activity she's designated for her day off from shooting Secrets and Lies, an upcoming ABC mystery thriller that finds her cast as a detective working to unravel a murder case with Ryan Phillippe as an unlikely prime suspect.

Lewis punctuates each mention of the network drama with an enthusiastic "out next year!" It's second nature for a seasoned pro who's been acting for most of her life, scoring Oscar and Golden Globe nominations at the tender age of 18 for her part in Martin Scorsese's Cape Fear remake.

Her career has been a diverse one almost since the start, and the description still stands in her early 40s. She's using this quick break from shooting her primetime detective series to speak to a handful of journalists about Kelly & Cal, a quiet little indie film she proudly refers to as a "labor of love."

"It's my day off and I'm doing the hustle for this beautiful independent film that I adore," Lewis says before quickly adding that she's certainly not complaining. "There are harder things in life. I don't mind doing this. It was incredibly personal, so I'm happy to do it."

The film, which made its festival debut at SXSW back in March, was the first feature-length project for both director Jen McGowan and screenwriter Amy Lowe Starbin. "When I got the script for this, I was so moved by the story and challenged," the actress says about coming across the project. "There's a lot of stillness and a quiet intimacy, wait and agitation, but it's a very quiet performance. It's really challenging. I was excited by how unsentimental it was and how the characters are full of contradictions. It was a story I'd never seen before."

It stars Lewis as the titular Kelly, a suburban mother grappling with malaise in the wake of the recent birth of her first child. She finds comfort after rekindling her love of music, returning to her riot grrrl past with the encouragement of her 17-year-old neighbor played by Jonny Weston. It's also a story that reflects some of the veteran actress's own creative struggles. "I related to this feeling of finding yourself where you've accomplished goals, you're supposed to be happy, you're kind of set up, but you're confused more than ever," Lewis confesses. "You don't know who you are. All of those are feelings that we go through at different times in our lives. I understood that feeling and that reversion. She wants to revert to her old self, to find that old spark. But that old spark has to evolve it's not going to be what sustains her, but she doesn't know that yet."

While Lewis admits that the '90s feminist punk movement that plays such a pivotal role in the film passed her by the first time around, the actress did embark on a music career of her own a little over a decade ago. "When I was turning 30, I realized I wasn't doing anything with my music dream, so I put a band together and started writing songs. I just started doing baby steps until I had a 20 minute set," she says.

Those rock and roll dreams became Juliette and the Licks, a band that would go on to release three records over the span of its six year existence. And while her more straightforward rock approach was a different beast than her character's musical background, Lewis channeled her experience to pen two songs for the film's soundtrack. "I'm usually hesitant to do anything musical in films," Lewis explains almost apologetically. "It's always so cheesy."

But at McGowan's insistence Lewis embraced the new challenge. "Jen gave me very specific songs to use as a template," she says. "The song 'Wet Nap' has that low-fi sludgey '90s vibe. That quite-loud style. We wanted to record it sounding really lo-fi like a demo. We produced the whole thing together. The other song is called 'Change.' It's super indie, kind of melancholy and hopeful. That's another writing style that normally isn't my kind of music, but it was very real to me because I related it to the project and the character."

And now Lewis may have another opportunity to channel those musical talents -- she'll be appearing in Jon Chu's Jem and the Holograms live-action feature film. Though the actress isn't able to say much about the project at this stage, she's customarily enthusiastic about it. "How exciting is it!?" she beams. "It's going to be really poppy, really fun. I'm in a secret role that I'm not supposed to talk about. All I can say is that they wrote it for me."



Rich White Ladies Are Making Tennis Their Bitch

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It's pretty much impossible to resist the verdant opulence of the tennis court, whether that means worshipping it, critiquing it or straight up subverting it. Anna Wintour watches US Open games in dresses she was just seen wearing in Fashion Week front rows. (Rumor has it that the NYFW schedule occasionally gets tweaked so Wintour can make it to Flushing in time for a match.) Lorde pines for a lost Eden in her 2013 single "Tennis Court." And because tennis wouldn't be tennis without McEnroe-style tantrums, we have Rich White Ladies. In their breakout track "Wimbledon," the Bronx-bred duo make blueblood privilege their bitch. MC Tokyo Diiva explains: "You can have a million Birkin bags and Herve Leger and Hermes or whatever, but that's wearing you; you're not wearing it. I think we're the one percent. I think we got it right."

Dolly Parton's ALS Ice Bucket Is a Delight. (Because Duh.)

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The freshly-baked-sugar-cookies-scented ray of Tennessee sunshine that is Dolly Parton recently took the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge on the dare of Kenny Rogers and it is, to be expected, delightful. When the person filming urges Dolly to take off her shoes before she gets doused, she quips "Oh, my shoes are plastic. But then again, so is the rest of me. That's besides the point." Oh, Dolly, braid our hair on a country front porch while giving us relationship advice forever. Check out the clip above, y'all.

This Sports Reporter Got Videobombed By a Giant, Purple Dildo

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Watch a sports reporter get videobombed by some kid who sticks a giant, purple dildo in his ear. [via Uproxx]


ICYMI: For reasons totally unknown, Snoop Dogg has created a white guy alter ego named Todd, and has made a series of videos of himself wearing whiteface, glasses and a blonde bowl cut wig plugging a website called "White Guys Connect." While it'd be easy to chalk this up to some THC-addled epiphany, Snoop sounds oddly lucid the whole time, making this whole series all the more peculiar. At any rate, some genius made a minute and a half long compilation of some of Todd's best moments -- watch Todd have a "fuckin' BLAST, baby!" [via The Daily Dot]


Peanut, the mini dachshund puppy, trying to wake up = us this morning coming off the three-day weekend. We feel 'ya, Peanut. [via Tastefully Offensive]



Bob Saget hosts "America's Filthiest Home Videos." [via Tastefully Offensive]

Screen shot 2014-09-01 at 11.37.30 PM.pngThis auto-correct is simultaneously AWESOME and very troubling for the fate of humanity. [via Instagram]



Watch a bunch of American kids react to trying Vegemite for the first time. [via HuffPo Comedy]

Screen shot 2014-09-01 at 11.38.47 PM.pngBest non-pick-up line pick-up line ever. [via Instagram]


ICYMI: Here's nearly 13 minutes of footage of a 17-year-old Katy Perry -- sorry, Katy Hudson -- when she was touring as a Christian singer-songwriter. Highlights include Katy calling herself a "pizza face," talking about how you couldn't flush toilet paper down the tour bus toilet and clips of her Alanis Morissette-esque warbling about Jesus. [via Gawker]

Listen to Jessie Ware's Soulful New Track "Want Your Feeling"

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Based on the songs that Jessie Ware has previewed from her second album, Tough Love means artfully restrained passion that you can dance to.

Today the R&B songstress unveiled her latest song from the album, "Want Your Feeling." For the low-key dance track, Ware tapped Dev Hines from Blood Orange to create a vibey soundscape that will turn your first week of September into a lush, late-70s summer.

Tough Love is set to be released October 21st but for now, stream "Want Your Feeling" above.

Listen to TV on the Radio's New Single, "Happy Idiot"

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Following the July announcement of new album, Seeds, TV on the Radio released the album's first single, a track list and tour dates this morning. "I'm a Happy Idiot" is a driving, dancey new-wave single that'll likely be on repeat in your headphones through most of fall. You can hear it live when the band comes to NYC with a concert at the Apollo theater 11/18 and two shows at Music Hall of Williamsburg 11/21 and 11/22.  Seeds is out 11/16 and can be pre-ordered here.

Disney Actress Debby Ryan Is the Anti-Miley (and That's Not a Bad Thing)

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_DRP7015_V1.jpgDebby wears a top by Equipment, shoes by Kenneth Cole, socks by Thierry Boutemy x Opening Ceremony and bracelet by Michael Kors.

It's a cloudless late July afternoon in Los Angeles and Debby Ryan, the brassy star of the Disney Channel's Jessie, is sporting very un-Jessie white-blonde hair and still riding the adrenaline rush of last night. Ryan's band, The Never Ending, played their first-ever concert out in Pomona, about 90 minutes east of LA, to fans, friends and family.

"I was surrounded by my best friends," Ryan, 21, says, beaming. Making The Never Ending's debut outside of Hollywood's glare was all part of the plan. While Disney's tween stars tend to stir up tabloids as they come into their own (see: Miley Cyrus), it's moves like this that show Ryan isn't interested in biting the white-gloved mouse hand that feeds her. "I don't do anything on my own that's too Disney-adjacent," she says. Instead, Ryan's more interested in creating a separation of church and state -- or, in this case, a separation between the music industry and the Magic Kingdom.

Ryan grew up in a religious, military household in Texas with a stint in Germany, and says she found a platform to perform at church. It wasn't long before she set her sights on acting in films. "I wanted to be Dakota Fanning," Ryan says, adding that she got her start in indie films, rather than the commercial fare she's since become known for. After landing her first role in a small film in Louisiana as a teenager, Ryan's tight-knit family relocated to LA to support her budding career. With her raspy voice and Texas-sized personality, she was eventually cast on Disney's Suite Life on Deck and, later, Jessie.

DRP_7344_edit_V2.jpgDebby wears a hat by Melody Ehsani and sunglasses by Guess.

Entering its fourth season, the show follows Ryan's character who, like herself, is a small town Texas girl that moves to the big city to break into showbiz. But in this case the big city is New York and Jessie works as a nanny to a large multi-cultural family of adopted children: a breakdancer from Detroit, a sassy little girl from Africa, a sweetly nerdy Indian, and a Paris Hilton-y daughter. The parents are cartoonishly narcissistic movie stars, the butler is lazy but big-hearted, and one of the main characters is a kimodo dragon named Mr. Kipling who -- spoiler alert -- turns out to be Ms. Kipling after having lots of little Kiplings.

While many Disney shows can be annoyingly rote with their -- cue overwrought TV promo voice -- kids who quip like grown-ups and their grown-ups that act like kids, Jessie's distinguished itself with an episode that addressed adoption from both the parents' and kids' perspectives. And this season will see Ryan's character outgrowing the usual forever-young Peter Pan-ness of Disney stars to get married.

It was the same year Jessie went on the air -- 2011 -- that Ryan began penning her own country-tinged music. Eventually friends and friends of friends connected her to guitarist Kyle Moore and together they went on to form The Never Ending. Though all the band members are ringers with the kind of industry-town writing and playing credits that working in Hollywood affords, the group is more like friends than business partners. Ryan is housemates with TNE's drummer Johnny Franco, but says it's anything but a band house. "We live in a neighborhood that's mostly elderly people. I have my cats and Johnny's like my big brother," she says. "I only really go out to support my friends' bands." (Her boyfriend is also a drummer, Josh Dun of the emo-EDM duo Twenty One Pilots.) "Otherwise it's movie night with s'mores and maybe jumping in the pool after midnight."

_DRP7375_v1.jpgDebby wears jeans by J Brand, shoes by Saint Laurent, hat by Stussy, sunglasses by Guess, and jewelry by Melody Ehsani.

Compared to, say, the high-visibility Aaliyah-esque R&B of fellow Disney star Zendaya, or the Nicki Minaj-collab radio hip-hop of Ariana Grande, Ryan and The Never Ending are a breath of fresh if recognizable air with their indie-folk-Americana-roots sound. The band's five-song album, One, released in late June, is as reminiscent of Tom Petty as Taylor Swift, and embraces everything from gospel to folk and even waltz (yes, as in one-two-three, one-two-three). The album's opener, "Mulholland Drive," finds drummer Franco playing brushes on a hushed, haunted track that sounds like Lana Del Rey playing a coffeehouse.

Two jams, "Ruthless" and "Call Me Up" are about rocky relationships, while the remaining two tracks, "When the Dark Falls" and "Before I Go Upstairs," are the aforementioned waltzes -- not exactly summer anthem, or even Radio Disney material. And yet, do a YouTube search of The Never Ending's debut show and "Before I Go Upstairs" comes up as something of a fan favorite highlight. "Doing a song about insomnia in waltz-time seems a little bold just in terms of not being typical, but it felt justified," Ryan explains. "That song is me, up late at night, this is what I'm feeling and this the story I want to tell." And these are their stories. Ryan writes all the music with her band, without help from outside producers or labels. "We're doing this in the way music's supposed to happen: a group of people meeting in the middle," she says.

If it all sounds sort of, for lack of a better word, pure, it kind of is. And when her predecessors include Miley and Selena, Ryan's career path -- aging gracefully into adulthood rather than, er, banging down its doors -- can seem like an anomaly.

Besides launching her music career, Ryan also has her own production company and, with it, a jam-packed calendar. "I have to be really choosy what I do because I only have so much availability," she says, and directors can see the Disney thing as a stigma. So far, she's played a crack addict on an episode of Private Practice and will be appearing in Snow The Jones, the upcoming project from UK filmmaker Alistair Banks Jones ("Two Gates of Sleep") about a teenage "vagabond who joins a door-to-door sales crew."

Of these disparate roles, Ryan says, "Yeah, I have the timing to deliver comedy and find the funny but I can do anything -- just give me the chance." Never ending, indeed.

Get The Never Ending's One HERE.

Bolder, Badder, Hotter: Go Inside Our Re-Designed 30th Anniversary Issue

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Dear Readers,

We have a message for those who say print is dead: fuck you. It's hard to be a publication called PAPER and not be proud of making something tangible. Obviously, we know that the digital world is important; our website, PAPERMAG.com, is helping people discover what is cool every day (every hour to be exact). But in keeping with our radical roots, why not overemphasize the magazine at the core of our brand? For our 30th birthday, we're bucking the trend and giving you a reimagined PAPER magazine.

Publishers and co-editors-in-chief Kim Hastreiter and David Hershkovits started PAPER in Kim's apartment 30 years ago -- and 30 years later they are still in the office every day, pushing our crew towards the original thinkers, artists and superstars of the moment. In this very special anniversary issue we have packed the best of the best of these creative types into a 42 page photo feature -- led by our cover stars Courtney Love and Brooke Candy -- celebrating the people who, in our eyes, have earned the title of "OG" or Original Gangster. These are the people who have found success in their respective fields by staying true to their vision and never bending to the trends -- just like us.

Now that we're getting up there in print years, we decided to make sure we kept our youthful appeal by entrusting our redesign to 26-year-old Scott West, who gave Paper this fresh new look while longtime design director Andrea Fella  kept us true to our roots.

Along with the redesign, we are introducing a new section called On Point, where our editors identify the micromovements you should know about. Our party pages, known as Cultural Sushi, have been spiced up, and the brand-new feature Happy Ending closes the book on a high note.

As you can see, there's a lot going on, so we decided to save some of the magic for next month when Paper's sparkly mascot Mr. Mickey will be launching a new column, Reserved: A Lunch with Mr. Mickey, in the book and moving his hilarious Ask Mr. Mickey online, where fans can get their style and sex questions answered at any time -- day or night.

A magazine is an experience -- one that just can't be duplicated by scrolling through a website. We've traveled the world to curate each page just for you, so go forth and flip through. We're confident that these 200 glossy pieces of paper are the best gift we can give to you on our birthday. Just don't get a PAPER cut.

Cara Delevingne and Kate Moss Strip Down In New 'My Burberry' Fragrance Ad

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Back in March, Cara Delevingne Instagrammed a teaser pic from the campaign she shot with Kate Moss for Burberry's new fragrance. Today, we get the whole shebang with the launch of the brand's "My Burberry" scent. Photographed by Mario Testino and featured in an accompanying video (above), Cara and Kate give great face, splash each other with the new fragrance and strip off their trench coats (SFW). In the immortal words of Larry David, it's "pretty, pretty, pretty...good."

The 10 Best, Worst and Weirdest Celebrity Children's Books

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Apparently, it's celebrity book writing season. But instead of the usual ghostwritten memoirs or selfie art books, stars are penning books for a younger set.

Earlier today it was announced that Bruce Springsteen is set to release Outlaw Pete, a children's book about a bank robbing baby that's based on his song of the same name. Keith Richards, Russell Brand, and Nick Cannon also have kids' books in the works and
we don't blame them -- kids' books are shorter, easier to write, and they don't even have to make sense.

From Weird Al to Jim Carey, here's a look back at the 10 best, worst, and weirdest celebrity children's books.

1. When I Grow Up by (Weird) Al Yankovic


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Most Surprisingly Normal Byline: Al Yankovic. Although the parody singer dropped the "weird" from his name for his children's book, he had some trouble removing it from his face. Weird Al also wins in the "Most Terrifying Book Tour" category.


2. Queen of the Scene by Queen Latifah

queenlatifa.jpgBest Not-So-Hidden Misandrist Message: Girls rule, boys drool. With Queen of the Scene, Queen Latifah takes girl power to the max -- or so reads the press blurb. Scrolling through the Amazon reviews, there was -- of course -- the obligatory white guy who thought that "the main girl seems to be more of a bully than a good representation of women" but we've got a cup labeled "Male Tears" that he can go cry into.


3. Rock Steady: A Story of Noah's Ark by Sting

sting.jpgLeast Reliable Source for Biblical History: A Sting song turned into a book for kids. In the book, a "young, hip" couple responds to what is basically a Craigslist ad posted by Noah himself. The words "contemporary twist" are applied liberally here.


4. Propeller One-Way Night Coach by John Travolta

johntravolta.jpgMost Depressing Book Review Ever: Entertainment Weekly's. According to the 1997 review, John Travolta wrote Propeller One-Way Night Coach in 1992 and gave out copies to his 75 closest friends who promised not to make fun of him. Then in 1997 he finally gained the confidence and the book deal to unleash the plot-less family-friendly fable on the public. Entertainment Weekly gave the book a C.


5. The English Roses by Madonna

madonnabook.jpgWorst Inspiration for a Children's Book: Cabala. Writing a children's book was a spiritual journey for this material girl but The English Roses is just a thinly disguised tale about how much prettier, smarter, and generally better her daughter is compared to other girls.


6. Is There Really a Human Race? by Jaime Lee Curtis

Jamie+Lee+Curtis+Signs+There+Human+Race+8wMAkZkGlUNl.jpgImage via Zimbio

Most Realistic Wax Figure Sent on a Book Tour: See above.


7. Santiago the Dreamer in Land Among the Stars by Ricky Martin


188133796-1.jpgImage via Parentdish
 
Longest Nonsensical Title. In terms of the perfect amount of chest hair cleavage, Ricky Martin nailed it. But he and his ghostwriter could have worked a little harder to find a catchier title for this book. 


8. If Roast Beef Could Fly by Jay Leno

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Most Shameless Plot: In If Roast Beef Could Fly, a young Jay Leno will stop at nothing to get a taste of roast beef before dinner time and there's nothing anyone can do to food-shame him out of it.


9. Strawberry Freckleface Strawberry by Julienne Moore


juliennemoorebook.jpgMost Underrepresented Struggle: Living with freckles. We all know it's hard out there for beautiful, freckled, Academy Award-winning actresses but somehow Julienne Moore survived to tell her story.


10. How Roland Rolls by Jim Carey

jimcareybook.jpgDeepest Book Blurb: Deepak Chopra: "Philosophers and scientists struggle to understand cosmic consciousness, but Jim Carrey explains it with elegant simplicity to the child in all of us. We are the ocean rolling along as Roland the Wave becoming raindrop, river, cloud, and becoming the life throb of ages dancing in us this moment." The lesson here, kids, is never judge a book by its title font.



An Ode to Wishing Your Sort-Of Friends a Happy Birthday on Facebook

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And ode to wishing people you're not that close with happy birthday on Facebook. [Jezebel]

10EOZ.jpgWish all the Fashion Week parties were happening at Club Whatever. [Mlkshk]


Pretty much every Mumford and Sons song ever. [Uproxx]
 
A supercut of all the times April insulted Ann on Parks and Recreation.
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ANDREW, BE BEST FRIENDS WITH US! [TastefullyOffensive]

CuPkzjq.jpgUPDATE: THE SQUIRREL CAME HOME! Lookin' real cool. [Reddit]
 


Watch Walter the water-obsessed dog race from his house to the beach with a camera strapped on.

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Thank you, photoshop, for all that you do. [FYouNoFMe]

Steve-Buscemi-in-6th-grade.jpgTiny, adorable 6th grade Steven Buscemi wishes you a happy Wednesday! [ThisIsNotPorn]


Watch Junglepussy's New Music Video, "Nah"

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New York-based rapper Junglepussy released a fiery new video for the Satisfaction Guaranteed standout, "Nah," a tropical track brimming with filthy innuendos and an incredible number of food references. "I seen you eating Mickey D's, knew you ain't love yourself/ I'm up in Trader Joes, shopping cart full of health," she brags in what just might be her absolute best verse ever. In the clip, we see the towering 22-year-old bless three girls on a beach using coconut milk (naturally), get hand-fed asparagus by a half-naked model (casual), and parade down the street in a shopping cart among a crowd flailing handmade signs that read, "Gratitude" and "Wealth." Give "Nah" a watch, above.

Rodarte at Skywalker Ranch

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Diehard Star Wars fans, Rodarte's Kate and Laura Mulleavy brought dresses from their gorgeous Fall 2014 collection -- inspired by the sci-fi classic -- to George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch where they met up with Yoda, C3PO and the gang for a shoot that is out of this world.

 
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This past spring we fell in love with the Star Wars-inspired dresses Kate and Laura Mulleavy sent down the runway for their Rodarte Fall 2014 show and got to thinking: What if we shot the dresses alongside characters from Star Wars? One thing led to another and the sisters ended up with their friend and collaborator, photographer Todd Cole, George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch. The results, as you can seem were pure magic. Here, the Mulleavy sisters tell us a little about why the Star Wars films are so special to them.

We don't remember a time when we hadn't seen Star Wars. We were born after the films came out, but they seem to be a part of our growing up, from all ages. We were drawn to the mythology behind the films, to the characters and the ways in which they were crafted. In later years, we were able to see the beauty of the films --  the landscapes and craftsmanship required to make the films so complete and whole. Every detail of the world created for Star Wars was thought out and brought to life as if it were real.
 
Our Fall 2014 collection was inspired by our nostalgia for our childhood, delving into the ephemeral space of our imagination, highlighting our fascination with storytelling and cinema, which culminated with the inclusion of artwork from Star Wars in the five couture gowns ending the collection. More than anything, this collection is about the limitless possibilities of youth and how our imagination transformed our backyard into a great adventure. In the end, the dresses represent something intangible -- the instantaneous and overwhelming moment of impact that changes the way you see the world. They represent the instant where you learn to keep your eyes wide-open to the vast potentiality of everything.

The Star Wars films seem to have become a part of who we are. In a broader sense, they have melded with the collective conscious of our cultural DNA. They are a heartbeat that joins so many people together or a complex nervous system, connecting far off worlds with the very real and universal human experience. On top of all of this, the films of the saga are, simply put, fun -- just like jumping into the ocean, one's first kiss, or seeing the stars on a clear night.


With special thanks to George Lucas.

Hair by Nikki Providence, makeup by Tsipporah Liebman for Nars Cosmetics, nails by Tsipporah Liebman for Sally Hansen, styled by Ashley Furnival, modeled by Ali Michael at IMG Models.

Photography assistants: Charles Grauke first, Mike Lopez second. Digital tech: Alex Aristei.




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