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    Screen Shot 2014-06-12 at 6.22.47 PM.pngJunglepussy with producer Shy Guy. Photo via VFiles' Instagram.

    Sporting a hot pink overall dress with matching Converse sneakers and a barely-there bikini top, 22-year-old Brooklyn rapper Junglepussy riled up the crowd last night in the VFiles shop, where a listening party was being held for her debut album Satisfaction Guaranteed. "I just want to be free, swinging my titties from tree to tree; sipping ginger tea and Hennessey; looking good without a weave," she spit, with untouchable fire, over the standout track "Me," produced by Shy Guy.

    Among the evening's attendees for were local rappers LE1F, Princess Nokia and Dai Burger, who looked especially amazing in a skintight denim jumpsuit, throwback pink-tinted sunglasses and multi-colored cascading locks.

    Satisfaction Guaranteed -- released earlier this week -- serves as Junglepussy's official introduction as an MC and offers up dark aggression, lyrical honesty and lots of steamy sensuality. Stream the album below and look out for bangers like "Want Some Mo," "Bling Bling" and title track "Satisfaction Guaranteed."

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    Watch Game of Thrones' Hodor on Family Feud. Hodor! [Uproxx]
    Chris Christie joined Jimmy Kimmel last night for the Evolution of Dad Dancing. We've always been a fan of "the Belt Grabber."

    Ice Cube says nice things angrily. [Uproxx]

    Dean Norris, AKA Hank from Breaking Bad, has a year book photo that is just a dream come true. Everything about this, from the blonde perm to the giant, open collar, is so good. [Uproxx]

    tumblr_msm3s05THk1qk21oho1_1280.jpgGod dammit, how are we just now finding out about our favorite new blog: GiantPantsofthe30s. Those are some giant pants. [Ratsoff]

    Dogs wearing panty hose will never not be funny. [LaughterKey]

    tumblr_n67wyxEIA41qmot78o1_400.jpgWeekend GPOY. [TheClearlyDope]

    ZCCJ.pngOther weekend GPOY. [Mlkshk]

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    Lana-Del-Rey-Ultraviolence-2014-1500x1500.pngThe Internet lit up Wednesday when Lana Del Rey's newest, excellent album Ultraviolence leaked in its entirety ahead of its June 17th release. Naturally, we've had it on repeat since. Stacked with moody ballads for dreary overcast days and dramatic love lost, Ultraviolence also has more than its share of classic, fabulously ridiculous Lana lyrics. Here's the breakdown of our favorites from each track. We love you, Lana!


    1. "Cruel World"

    "With my little red party dress on,
    Everybody knows that I'm a mess,
    I'm crazy, yeah."

    Wait, is this is the same freakin' party dress you've been singing about for the past two albums? If so, I hope to God you've had it dry-cleaned because if its truly made appearances at all these parties, I can't imagine the stains and smells the thing has accumulated over the years. No wonder they all think you're a mess.

     2.  "Shades of Cool"

    "But I can't fix him, can't make him better.
    And I can't do nothing about this strange weather."

    This guy -- like all the rest in your love life -- is a bit troubled, addicted to drugs and, of course, drives a chevy Malibu. You can't fix him, etc., etc., etc., but you're also concerned about "this strange weather?" You can't do anything about a flash flood, you know that! Focus, girl, focus -- just one thing at a time.

    3. "Brooklyn Baby"

    "I've got feathers in my hair,
    I get down to beat poetry."

    I'm going to need you to further define, "get down," Lana, because I find it very hard to believe that you "get down" to beat poetry in the same way I "get down" to Beyoncé. 

     4. "West Coast"

    "He's crazy y Cubano como yo my love."

    I threw this lyric into Google translator to give you the benefit of the doubt, but it still makes no sense, even in English. "He's crazy and Cuban like me, my love." Girl, your real name is Elizabeth. Woolridge. Grant. You grew up in Lake Placid, New York.

    5. "Sad Girl"

    "I'm a sad girl,
    I'm a sad girl,
    I'm a sad girl,
    I'm a sad girl."

    But how do you really feel?

    6. "Pretty When You Cry"

    "I'm pretty when I cry,
    I'm pretty when I cry.
    I'm pretty when I cry,
    I'm pretty when I cry."

    Lana lives in a romantic old Hollywood black and white film where tears softly fall one-by-one down the cheeks of sexy sirens. Her face doesn't turn red, her mascara doesn't run, her eyes don't get puffy. Deal. With. It.

     7. "Money Power Glory"

    "Alleluia, I wanna take you for all that you got,
    Alleluia, I'm gonna take them for all that they got."

    It's definitely refreshing to hear your more aggressive and confident side, Lana. You're Lana Del Rey -- more of this, please. Rob a bank, steal some credit cards, run out of Barney's with handfuls of Christian Louboutins -- take them, girl, you've got this.

    8. "Fucked My Way Up to the Top"

    "I fucked my way up to the top,
    This is my show.
    I fucked my way up to the top,
    Go, baby, go."

    Remember those rumors circulating before the release of your debut album, claiming you were a product of the industry with an extremely wealthy family and really good connections, Lana? I'm not sure if this is your way of hinting at the truth behind these claims or if it's another one of your damsel-in-distress fantasies, but either way, this is certainly one way to get the job done--Do you, Lana. Do you.

    9. "Old Money"

    "Blue hydrangea, cold cash divine,
    Cashmere, cologne and hot sunshine.
    Red racing cars, Sunset and Vine,
    And we were young and pretty."

    Ah, yes--Here's a prime example of classic Lana Del Rey lyrics, brimming with nostalgic imagery that collectively makes no sense and longs for a distant day of youthful beauty. The picture you've created, here, is quite beautiful, Lana, but I really can't get over your choice to rhyme "Divine" with Vine." Not even wine? Wine would have been perfect.

    10. "The Other Woman"

    "The other woman enchants her clothes with French perfume.
    The other woman keeps fresh cut flowers in each room.
    There are never toys that's scattered everywhere."

    This woman seems horribly boring, don't you think? French perfume, fresh cut flowers and NO toys? I much prefer a woman who wears cheap perfume, can barely keep a plant alive and lets her toys be thrown every which way. No need to be threatened by "the other woman," Lana.

    11. "Black Beauty"

    "I paint the house black,
    My wedding dress black leather, too."

    You of all people want to wear a black leather dress on your wedding day? I guess I just assumed you'd want the frilliest white wedding with pounds of red roses, buckets of champagne and the daintiest of jazz music, but this darker approach is certainly more exciting. If this is just a phase, I fully support your every move. Think Dita Von Teese on her wedding day with Marilyn Manson.

     12. "Guns and Roses"

    "We should have left Las Vegas,
    And then began again,
    To get back to Detroit,
    Back to the Promised Land."

    This may be an unpopular opinion, but I'd hardly consider Detroit to be the Promised Land. This is obviously all a part of your trailer park chic daydream, which I love, but I also think it's fair to say you should set the bar just a bit higher. Maybe Akron?

    13. "Florida Kilos"

    "Guns in the summertime,
    Drink a Cherry Cola lime,
    Prison isn't nothing to me if you'll be by my side."

    At this point, we all know you're a big fan of all things Cola, Lana, and I guess I shouldn't be remotely surprised at your decision to lyrically pair it with guns this time around. After all, you did famously relate it to the taste of your pussy on Born To Die: Paradise Edition. It's not clear exactly what you plan on doing with guns or Cherry Cola lime, but I promise prison won't be as glamorous as you've dreamt it to be.

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    We've seen our fair share of awkward TV interviews, but Sky Ferreira's appearance last night on Brazilian talk show The Noite is a strong contender for the most painful yet. Not only did host Danilo Gentili speak through a translator, which added an extra layer of discomfort, but also rudely opened by asking Sky if people loved her work for the music or "because of the tits," referring to her topless album cover.

    Despite a blatantly degrading probe, Sky handled the situation like a pro and responded with a cool, "I'm pretty sure it's because of my work, but I guess that helps if you're a pervert." An obvious attempt at humor by Mr. Gentili, but Sky brilliantly hung him up to dry on his own show.

    After an agonizing discussion about tarantulas, Michael Jackson and Sky's background in opera, the host went on to give his own opera performance, which left us squirming until Sky took the stage to perform "You're Not The One." Looking effortless and unfazed by the entire interview, Sky powerfully worked through the Night Time, My Time single, proving exactly why "her tits" haven't played even the slightest role in her success.

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    It seems pretty safe to say by now that Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX's "Fancy" is the song of the summer  -- with honorable mentions to Nicki Minaj's "Pills N Potions" and Ariana Grande's "Problems" -- but, then again, the summer's still early and we just might have found a single and accompanying YouTube video that has real potential as a SOTS dark horse. Behold, "Jack White is a Douchebag," by Jack Kennedy and the Douchebags, an infectious banger that depicts a world in which Jack White hits on girls in yoga classes, assaults cab drivers and has a huge penis. We reached out to Kennedy (who's also in the three-way stereo coining-band NightBus), for some more details, because, well, what the fuck is this?

    Kennedy, who is based in L.A., says the song was recorded by a couple on vacation, but otherwise that's all he knows about its origins. "I've heard that the people who recorded it were on holiday in Wales and staying in a sheep cottage. It was raining the whole time, and there was really nothing to do. They were super bored, and then this song just kind of came out. They wrote it while they were cooking dinner. They spent like 4 or 5 hours writing it. And then they forgot about it. And now it's on the Internet."  

    So is Jack White really known for going to yoga classes and hitting on girls? "It's in no way about the actual Jack White," says Kennedy. "It's a fictitious character whose name is also Jack White who frequents Los Angeles yoga studios, and who I've heard is a total douchebag, but it's not the same Jack White. The coincidences are just really remarkable."

    Watch the deeply amazing video above, directed by Titanic Sinclair. We know what we'll be blasting at the beach tomorrow. He's just so intense. 

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    Screen Shot 2014-06-13 at 3.34.52 PM.pngThroughout the summer, we're following around some of our favorite bands and DJs as they head out on tour. In each installment, these road dogs will be sharing a photo diary and sharing stories about what they do, see, and hear and eat while criss-crossing the country and the globe. First up: the First Sisters of EDM, NERVO. DJs -- and rea-life twins -- Mim and Liv tell us all about their recent gig spinning in Vienna at the cuckoo bonanza that is Life Ball.


    "Liv's pre-game face as she is getting ready for make-up."

    felixheller-139.jpg"Mim getting beautified."

    felixheller-93.jpg "Tag teaming for Liv's hair and make-up."

    felixheller-172.jpg"Jewels jewels jewels #redcarpet."

    felixheller-202.jpg"Suck it in, Liv! #AlexanderMcQueen"

    felixheller-212.jpg"Last few seconds before we leave our hotel room with our stylist Jordan Grossman."

    felixheller-2.jpg"Feeling very glamourous in our Versace and Alexander McQueen at The Life Ball -- the biggest charity event in Europe supporting people with HIV or AIDS."

    felixheller-252.jpg"Nothing like being on the red carpet with our friends Lina and Philipp. Such a beautiful back drop at the Vienna City Hall."

    felixheller-323.jpg"Sitting in the audience watching the amazing show; from Opera to Ballet to Ricky Martin -- it was an all round mind blowing evening for a great cause."

    felixheller-379.jpg"Time to do what we do and get things heated up on the decks!"

    felixheller-442.jpg"The party continues and we're wearing Sebastian Gunawan and Francesco Scognamiglio!"

    "Thank you Vienna Life Ball for a truly amazing night and congratulations on a beautiful event."

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    Screen Shot 2014-06-13 at 7.14.20 PM.pngBest Instagram Of The Week
    You know how Macklemore threatens to take our grandpa's style in that one song? Yeah, he isn't even close. The Fashion Grandpa instagrammer takes street style snapshots to a whole new level, taking quick pics of fashionable grandfathers out and about.  -- Mally Espaillat

    emojis.jpgBest Emoji News of the Week:
    More than 250 new emojis will be added in July 2014 as part the new Unicode Standard update to Version 7.0.0. New emojis will include the middle finger (so you don't have to take time out to type "FU"anymore) as well as a garbage can, that face wind-blowing icon, an Om symbol and tons more. --Elizabeth Thompson [Via MTV]

    Screen Shot 2014-06-13 at 3.45.48 PM.pngThe Most WTF Ticket Announcement: The Hatsune Miku Expo is coming to NYC in October and Hatsune Miku herself will perform at Hammerstein Ballroom. Developed in Japan (natch) Hatsune Miku is  "a humanoid persona voiced by a singing synthesizer" aka a singing hologram like Tupac at Coachella or Michael Jackson at the Billboard Music Awards but in real time, like she "exists" now and sells out huge areas (watch video below). Holograms are so hot. This is the future, people. -- Maggie Dolan

    KenzoResort.jpgBest Reason To Happy Hour In FiDi: Kenzo's Resort '14 presentation. Humberto Leon and Carol Lim always deliver an experience, not to mention great celeb sitings - hey, Chloë Sevigny and Dakota Fanning - and this week's presentation at 4 World Trade Center was no exception. Beautiful clothes, beautiful location, beautiful people - fashion! -- M.D.

    305070.jpgBest Fashion House Tradition: At the start of each season, Maison Martin Margiela chooses one Maison design team member to write the year and season on their hand and record it with a Xerox. The results - from S/S'89 to A/W'98 - are pretty boss. So Margiela. -- M.D.

    Most uncomfortable four minutes of the week: Lena Dunham and Sia's performance of "Chandelier" on Late Night with Seth Meyers. I think Lena Dunham was aiming for "carefree child" performance art, but it felt more like "weird drunk Aunt dancing at a holiday party." --Justin Moran

    Most important music video you may have missed this week: "Truth Tella" by Cakes Da Killa

    Cakes Da Killa's striking black-and-white video for "Truth Tella" is equally aggressive as it is untouchably elegant. "I will point a bitch out," he screams over clips of the rapper wearing Philip Treacy-inspired hats. Get it, Cakes. --J.M.

    Vines Still Exist? of the Week
    Go watch every single one of Conner O'Malley's Vines. Go do it now. Yay for doing things now! -- Tucker Chet Markus

    Best Questions To Ask In A 2-Minute Fashion Video:
    Are fried eggs the new accessory? Would you ever wear a purse made of kale? The questions you never realized have been troubling you since at least the beginning of this week have finally been answered by the fifth episode of  Bib+Tuck's "Cash Money Clothes," featuring fashion blogger Arabelle Sicardi. And her lipstick is cool, too.

    Rob-Pybus-Lover-1.jpgBest Alternative To Getting A Tattoo
    Finally, some permanent ink that actually makes no contact with your skin-unless     you sleep on the floor. Designer Rob Pybus has taken 50s style tattoo designs     and turned them into a collection of rugs for Floor_Story -- from a sailor pin-up girl  -- to the ever-popular arrow-speared heart. The perfectly edgy touch to your Urban Outfitters designed living room. [Via]

    Weirdest Celebrity Choreographed Dance

        Kendall, Kylie, and Tyler The Creator team up in this Instagram vid to dance to strange old-timey music. It's like Vaudeville with turquoise ombre and lots of contouring. --M.E.

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    In celebration of the fabulous Olsen Twins' 28th birthday today, we've broken down our picks for the eight most important fashion moments from their overflowing repertoire of important fashion moments throughout the years. If you're anything like us, today is practically a holiday, so we've been parading around New York wearing head-to-toe black, drinking a Triple Grande Latte from Starbucks and perfecting our signature Olsen Twin scowl.

    634540127077272500838953_27_AMKOlsen4_101111.JPG1. NYFF screening of Martha Macy May Marlene in 2011

    Though we can't imagine the Olsen Twins dancing wasted in the club with a vodka soda in-hand, this oversized fur is begging for an on-camera P. Diddy music video moment. 

    Lesson learned: If your arm could be mistaken for a grizzly bear's limb, it's chic.

    2. The Metropolitan Opera's gala premiere of Rossini's Le Comte Ory in 2011

    Nonchalantly sporting gold-rimmed sunglasses by The Row and dripping in YSL, Mary-Kate and Ashley look funeral-chic and amazingly bored on the Metropolitan Opera's 2011 red carpet.

    Lesson learned: Always look unenthused and always dress to depress


    3. The Broadway opening of Lend Me a Tenor in 2010

    Black lace, black strappy heels, black sunglasses, black lace, black brocade, black bows, and black tights.

    Lesson learned: Black.


    4. The 2014 Met Ball


    The Olsen Twins look like serious business executives in these floor-length vintage gowns. Although these are not the most flattering silhouettes for their small frames, we love anything that dances on the verge of a costume, especially at the Met Ball.

    Lesson Learned: Always dress at least 30 years older than your age.


    5. The 2006 Costume Institute Gala

    Wearing floor-length Badgley Mischka gowns, the Olsen Twins ooze of old money, like classic Hollywood sirens with nothing to do but spend thousands on couture. 

    Lesson Learned: If you close your eyes and grab at least thing things from your rich Great Grandmother's closet, you're guaranteed to look like an Olsen Twin. 


    6. HBO's annual pre-Golden Globe Reception in 2007 

    Ashley looks innocent and cute, but the real star is Mary-Kate, whose oversized fur stole and plunging emerald gown remind us of Carol Burnett as Miss. Hannigan in Annie if she had a rich boyfriend.

    Lesson Learned: If your style isn't reflective of Hollywood's favorite drunk orphanage supervisor, you're doing everything wrong. 


    7. Elizabeth and James event at Neiman Marcus in 2007

    How these girls get their hair so perfectly disheveled, we'll never know. 

    Lesson Learned: Your hair should always look like you just stepped out of bed, even if it takes you hours to get the look right. 


    8. Launch event for JCPenney's OLsenboye line in 2010

    The Olsen Twins look as though they have a cauldron brewing back at home and a spell book waiting to be broken in. Between Ashley's wine-stained lips and Mary-Kate's blood red number, the two make dark magic look undeniably luxurious. The only thing missing, here, is a dead man's toe and a black cat. 

    Lesson Learned: Winifred Sanderson from Hocus Pocus is far more fashionable than we've ever considered.

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    Jimmy Kimmel did a special NBA edition of Celebrities Read Mean Tweets last night and this stuff is way harsh, Tai. Meaner than usual. Leave Motumbo alone![Uproxx]

    Dave Chappelle was on the Tonight Show Friday night and told a story about hanging out with pre-crazy-fame Kanye West when he was on the Chappelle Show and it's pretty much the best. Not much has changed. Oh Kanye.

    ZD1W.jpg Raise the dead with Skipper, Ken and the gang! [Mlkshk]

    A celebrating Kings fan went out on to the ice in heels (???) after the game and, well... here's a little schadenfreude for all you Rangers fans.
    ZCQ9.jpg We would like to officially propose marriage to whoever is responsible for this. [Mlkshk]

    ZDAI.pngWe offer ourselves and our glue guns to him in salvation. [Mlkshk]

    Chickens are mean! [TastefullyOffensive]
    Jimmy Fallon, Ice Cube, Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum perform a rousing rendition of 'sup.' Sup? Sup. [TastefullyOffensive]

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    678_14PAPERcover.jpegLily wears a coat by Hockley, earrings by Cartier, rings by Chanel and Solange Azagury-Partridge, eye color by MAC.

    High-quality braided hair extensions are scattered on the floor of Lily Allen's suite in New York's Carlyle Hotel, and there's a bottle of Moët on ice monogrammed "L.A."

    "I assume they thought they were sending it up to Lily Aldridge's room," Allen says. Actually she mumbles out of the side of her mouth like an old-timey gangster, because a crouching makeup artist is hard at work on her face. Her team is prepping her for the Met Gala, to which she's wearing a Chanel gown. Just another day for a chart-topping pop star -- but not for Allen, at least not for quite some time. She just dropped her newest album, Sheezus, after a five-year marriage-and-momhood hiatus following 2009's It's Not Me, It's You. Right now, glamming up in a hotel room across an ocean from her family, she seems ambivalent about her comeback, sighing, "I miss my daughters incredibly. They're at that age where I go away for two days and they completely change." (Allen's daughters, with her non-famous carpenter husband Sam Cooper, are Ethel, three, and Marnie, two.)

    Her debut album, Alright, Still (2006), was a slice of life from a frank, sassy and honest 21-year-old girl with a Myspace account, getting hit on by gross guys at the club and indulging her schadenfreude after a breakup. Looking at the Billboard Top 100 charts from that year and 2009, it's clear that Allen's first two albums paved the way for more young female pop stars with actual personalities. But Allen's like that hard-partying girl in college you lose touch with and then a few years later see on Facebook as a wife and mom with photo albums called things like "David's Birthday Party!!" The only person who wasn't surprised was Allen herself: "Having kids and a husband early was definitely my intention."

    LA_PAPER1.jpgLily wears a coat by Hockley and earrings by Cartier.

    Based on Sheezus's track list, it was a great call: she's kicked the substances ("What I like the best is how you can keep me on my toes / Staying home with you is better than sticking things up my nose," she sings about her husband on the Cajun-y "As Long As I Got You"), her married sex life is better than her single one was (the giddy, heavily auto-tuned "L8 CMMR," to appear on the second Girls soundtrack) and she loves domestic life for the most part (the early Vampire Weekend-sounding "Life For Me"). But after a couple years off the grid, she was ready to come back. She yells over the whirr of the hair dryer: "I needed something to do with my days, and singing and songwriting are the only things I really know how to do!"
    The chutzpah that shot Allen to stardom at 21 hasn't faded at 29. Earlier, I was sitting on a couch outside her room to wait for the interview ("She's having a bath"). Eventually Allen emerged and began putting her Spanx on, during which nobody bothered to close the door all the way. So, awkwardly enough, the first glimpse I got of Allen was actually a topless one. And if that's the first sentence that's grabbed your attention, then the first Sheezus single, "Hard Out Here," was written for you.

    The reception to the video for that catchy single, intended as a blazing indictment of the body-image scrutiny that the media places on mainstream female pop stars, was the first major indication that a lot had changed since 2009 -- although Allen's tendency to provoke controversy hadn't. People thought that Allen's use of women of color as dimepiece-style backup dancers, while she was fully clothed and singing about not having to use her body to get ahead, had negative racial implications.

    Allen's own statement in her defense included a depressing and contradictory justification for appearing fully clothed in the video: "If I was a little braver, I would have been wearing a bikini too, but I do not and I have chronic cellulite, which nobody wants to see." Not quite the balls-to-the-wall, this-is-my-weight body positivity you'd hope for. As for the race issue: "I didn't foresee it," she said simply.
    The truth is, something can be an on-point response to the double standards of men and women in mainstream music (balloons in the video spell out "Lily Allen Has a Baggy Pussy," a parodic reference to "Robin Thicke Has a Big Dick" in 2013's "Blurred Lines" music video) while unintentionally illuminating other problematic double standards ("Don't need to shake my ass 'cause I've got a brain," Allen sings as four non white women wordlessly booty-dance behind her).

    I ask her if she's ever been pressured to diet. "I'd rather not talk about that." Allen is in the school of celebrity feminism whose members at first say they're not and almost immediately afterward change their tune. In March she told English men's mag ShortList, "Feminism. I hate that word because it shouldn't even be a thing anymore. We're all equal, everyone is equal." "Of course I'm a feminist," she said to The Debrief a few days later, claiming she'd been misquoted.

    LA_PAPER2.jpglilyglasses1.jpgTop photo: Lily wears a dress by McQ, shoes by Alberto Guardiani, earrings by Chanel and rings by Solange Azagury-Partridge. Bottom photo: Sunglasses by Natasha Morgan, earrings by Cartier and rings by Chanel and Solange Azagury-Partridge. 

    When the inevitable backlash hit, Allen tweeted at a blogger who'd jumped into the fray: "I deal with sexism and misogyny every day, I'm patronised on an hourly basis, so excuse me if your article has fucked me off." But she resists the touchy-feely idea that she writes message music. "I kind of hate having to explain my songs," she tells me. "They should be self-explanatory; they're not meant to be grand statements. When someone asks what was the idea behind 'Hard Out Here,' it started out with [the lyric], 'I suppose I should tell you what this bitch is thinking,' and then built from there. I've never thought, 'I wanna write a song about the injustices that women face in the music industry.'" But she did. She may not talk the talk, but she walks the walk. That's more important than labels.

    Allen slams Internet culture, specifically the sausage fest of music blogging, in "URL Badman," calling out their snobbery and misrepresentation. "I'm a London white boy repping ATL / Keyboard warrior that can't spell / I don't like you, I think you're worthless / I wrote a long piece about it up on my WordPress... I don't like girls much, I think they're kinda silly / Unless of course they wanna play with my willy." Even though the word "feminist" never enters the picture, Allen displays a sharp eye for patriarchal bullshit. The song was inspired by "the toxic nastiness [of the Internet], the anonymity, the need now to feel if somebody makes a mistake, they should have to... it's like a scrum to get that person to be ashamed, or something, and I just hate that."

    Facing an open window, she drags on her e-cig in the makeup chair as her hairstylist clips her bangs to the side with a barrette. She looks just like Veronica from the Archie comics trying to be Margot Tenenbaum. She says that she has a surprisingly intense fear of performing if she thinks too much about it. "I'm kind of in denial about it, and then suddenly I'm onstage. I never let anyone introduce me onstage, because I'm so terrified of being booed. I just walk out. It's always fine, but..." She trails off.

    The title single of Sheezus finds Allen tentative but ready to jump back into the arena:

    Been here before, so I'm prepared
    Not gonna lie though, I'm kinda scared

    She namechecks her competitors, the most powerful ladies in the game right now.

    Ri-Ri isn't scared of Katy Perry's roaring
    Queen B's going back to the drawing
    Lorde smells blood, yeah, she's about to slay you
    Kid ain't one to fuck with when she's only on her debut
    We're all watching Gaga, L-O-L-O, haha
    Dying for the art, so really she's a martyr
    The second best will never cut it for the divas
    Give me that crown, bitch, I wanna be Sheezus

    The lyrics were made out to be a Mean Girl move by the press, but they're more like Kendrick Lamar's infamous 2013 verse on Big Sean's "Control" -- a call for everyone to step it up, be worthier competitors. It's a kind of camaraderie, almost. But women who do the same aren't allowed the luxury of multiple interpretations, says Allen. "You can listen to those lyrics and decide it's me calling out all those people or me praising all those people. It depends on the listener and what kind of person they are."

    What's it like when she runs into one of them at an event like tonight's? Not that weird, actually. "I sent Rihanna "Sheezus" a month ago. She loved it, thought it was hilarious. She said, 'Maybe don't send it to Gaga,'" Allen says, droll as hell. Some of the women were less than thrilled about their mentions -- a week before the Met Gala, Allen had a Twitter feud with model Jourdan Dunn over "Insincerely Yours," in which Allen says she "doesn't give a fuck" about Dunn.
    Allen says she doesn't give a fuck about a lot of things, but sometimes it's hard to believe her. "I don't wander around wondering what people think about me," says Allen with a glimmer of vulnerability. "I hate to think how people do think. So I don't want to think about it."

    LA_PAPER6.jpgLily wears a dress by Louis Vuitton and earring by Cartier.

    Instead, she has a tendency to preemptively criticize herself before other people have the chance to. She agreed with a Twitter hater who called the Sheezus singles "docile pop rubbish" and says to me that her songs are "dumb pop" no fewer than three times. "Hard Out Here" comments on what she perceives as her unattractive post-baby body before the American press gets a chance to. And on "Silver Spoon" she dares you to hate her for her privilege: "So I went to posh school / Why would I deny it? / Silver spoon at the ready so don't even try it." During our interview she says things like, "I think I sit amongst artists. I don't know why we have to separate female artists." On "Sheezus," she sings, "I'm ready for all the comparisons / I think it's dumb and it's embarrassing -- " but then she goes ahead and does it herself, satirical or not. It's like Rebel Wilson in Pitch Perfect explaining that she calls herself Fat Amy "so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back."

    I ask her why she thinks women are pitted against each other. "I don't think it's real. That's something being created by the media to make things more interesting, and I think that's always happened." She asks an assistant to order up a vodka soda with lime, her usual. "I find it very interesting that nobody asks me about Kanye, or Drake, or A$AP Rocky [all of whom are also mentioned on the album]. I feel like that makes my point."

    On April 26, at a London club called G.A.Y., Allen performed a campy lip-sync to "Drunk In Love" that people interpreted as throwing shade at Beyoncé. She tweeted afterward that each time she's performed at that venue, she's done a parodic homage to a different pop star: "Only one person can tell you what my intentions are, and that would be me." She called the accusations "so fucking boring."

    Her upcoming show at the Highline Ballroom, the first in the States in five years, sold out immediately, and she's more ready to perform than ever. "I was really intoxicated onstage [earlier in my career]. I have more energy now. Also I work out. I do smoke the odd cigarette, but mostly I smoke these things --" She holds up the e-cigarette. "So my lung capacity is better. After a show, I have a couple drinks and then go to bed. [I used to] have a couple of drinks, and then more drinks, and not go to bed. But I've got kids now."
    One week later, the Highline Ballroom is so packed that you can barely get a beer. The show opens with Miley-esque cartoon visuals: baby bottles filled with pills, a cheeky acknowledgement of her new life. Allen jumps right into "Sheezus" and then trills in that posh accent: "Did you miss me, New York?" She gets a loud confirmation.

    Styled by Richard Sloan at Saint Luke • Makeup by Mary Greenwell at • Hair by Halley Brisker at Jedroot • Manicure by Michelle Humphrey. Creative Direction by Aimee Phillips.

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    We just got back from the EDM Vortex -- Ibiza -- so it's only fitting that we're premiering a new video from dance music legend Benny Benassi, "Let This Last Forever." The track, which features British singer Gary Go, comes from the Italian producer's forthcoming album, out later this year via Ultra Music. It's a shimmery, uplifting dance song that's a perfect segue between afternoon day drinking and late night partying. The video features the Aqualillies, a way glamorous synchronized swimming troupe, and alternates between mesmerizing, kaleidoscopic shots of the ladies doing formations in neon, floral print bikinis and swimming around au naturel. Watch the NSFW video, above.

    You can snag the single HERE.

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    Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 4.38.29 PM.pngJim Walrod inside his loft with a painting by Ryan McGinness, desk by Ettore Sottsass and Alessandro Mendini, desk lamp by Clive Entwistle, planters by Erwin and Estelle Laverne, chairs by Pierre Jeanneret, floor lamp by Mario Arnaboldi.

    What makes a quintessential New Yorker today? Someone who's not a native, who's crazy in love with the city, warts and all, an aesthete who can appreciate the wide range of trivia, ephemera, art and sheer volume of things that inspires them to stay in New York.

    Jim Walrod, author of I Knew Jim Knew, is that guy, an interior designer who works for some of the world's richest people, helping them to turn their homes into environments and their airplanes into artworks. His quirky little book blends Walrod's love of Instagram, a passion for New York City and little known bits of cultural history hidden in plain sight. Like did you know that the two-story building at 496 Broome Street in Soho was John and Yoko's home where, says Walrod, you can still see their belongings?

    JimWalrod1.jpgPainting by Kenny Scharf, floor lamp by Studio BBPR, Cabinet by Guy de Rougemont, table lamps by (L-R) Ettore Sottsass and Superstudio, Chairs by Jacques Carpentier, table by ERwin and Estelle Laverne.

    jimwalrod3.jpgPainting by Ben Jones, "La Femme Commode" by Nicola L.

    Walrod lives on a working class block in Chinatown in a third floor walk-up above a hardware store that's located inside the building. His loft is immaculate, a kaleidoscopic collection of art, both the kind you sit on or that comes with drawers, as well as pieces meant to be hung on a wall. A Gaetano Pesce door from the old Chiat-Day offices that he scavenged, a Peter Sutherland photo of a phone booth tagged by Barry McGee and Ryan McGinness, a Kenny Scharf painting, each one comes with a story that tells you as much about Walrod as the piece under examination. There are also works by Ray Johnson, Phil Frost, a Lee Friedlander photo of wrestler Bruno San Martino, Ettore Sottsass, Ben Watt, Chris Johanson, Will Cotton, Pierre Jeanneret... There's a through line tied to Memphis design and Walrod describes his love for the genre thus: "I like design that's hard to live with."

    Self-taught, dyslexic, Walrod never went to college. He grew up in Jersey City and started taking the PATH train into Manhattan at 13 with a group of friends in the '70s. "We'd take the train over to go to Playland on 42nd St. and go around and rob purses. We'd to buy fake IDs, play pinball, buy knives and go around causing trouble."

    On one trip, he tracked down Max's Kansas City after reading about it in a rock magazine and discovered a brand new world that changed his life. "I heard music like I'd never heard before. Two people on stage. It was [the band] Suicide. This was a line in the sand. How can you go listen to a Yes record after that. If you don't like this, I'm not your friend anymore."

    jimwalrod4.jpgShelf by Ettore Sottsass, Sculptures by (L-R) Chris Johanson and Alessi, painting by Mark Gonzales.

    jimwalrod5.jpgTable by Johanna Grawunder, urn by Gaetano Pesce, painting by Will Cotton, daybed by Kartell, mirror by Ettore Sottsass, table by Shiro Kuramata, lamp by Ennio Lucini, vintage Bauhaus rug.

    A random encounter with Andy Warhol got him a job at Fiorucci, the flamboyant fashion boutique that included salespeople like drag performer Joey Arias. "I'd take the train from Jersey City wearing kilts," he says.

    I Knew Jim Knew grew out of dinner conversations with editors at Powerhouse Books, fun folks who loved his fun facts. "They just kept asking me questions and I had answers," he says. "I wanted to do a book that anybody can do. Random shit that could occupy our time, stupid shit that you can breeze through. The book would come out of walking down the street and you turn around and go 'that's where Robert Frank lives.' Or walk past where the Fun Gallery was."

    And like a quintessential New Yorker, he lives on a block that he says, "doesn't feel like New York. New York is overrun with bankers and money. Here's where I can walk and see families and punks."

    Just like in the good old days.

    I Knew Jim Knew is out now via powerHouse books.

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    Former Paper Cover girl Jessie Ware just released a brand new track, "Tough Love," and has announced a sophomore album in the works. The track, produced by BenZel (Benny Blanco and Two Inch Punch) overlays deep bass with Ware's buttery voice and features the singer's signature: an effortless languor, even when her vocals soar to impressively high crests. It feels a bit like something off her debut album, Devotion, and most definitely gets us psyched for more details about her follow-up. Give "Tough Love" a listen, above.

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    Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 6.43.58 PM.pngSome insane -- and insanely dope! -- couple named their twin sons Raekwon and Ghostface Lieberman. Here's hoping this is just some Reddit prank but also here's hoping it isn't.
    Update: Not surprisingly, this was a joke by a very dope dad.  [via Hyper Vocal]

    Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 6.40.27 PM.pngYung Tanner. [via RageOn]

    Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 6.41.10 PM.pngThis horrifying J. Lo waxwork is throwing you shade. [via Go Fug Yourself]

    This guy replaced Britney Spears with himself in the singer's "Work Bitch" video and the result is amazing. [via The Clearly Dope]

    tumblr_n73o6oTk9G1rn7bzro1_1280.jpgIt's all about the telepathic flirting. [via Knusprig Titten Hitler]

    Meet Georges the Dog, who's OBSESSED with the World Cup and watches the games for four hours straight. He knows more team stats than you. [via Tastefully Offensive]

    tumblr_mg27dhEgpK1qb5gkjo1_400.gifSorry gotta go! [via F You No F Me]

    tumblr_n6wxy0zIvb1s5cyzso1_500.jpgJust fuck 'em. They suck. You're lying in your own filth. Ick. [via The Clearly Dope]

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    In our column United Nations of Style, we talk to the coolest, cuckoo craziest and most creative fashion designers around the world to hear what inspires them and what it's like to work in fashion where they live. This week we talked to Nikolaj Nielsen, creative director behind denim-centric Danish brand Won Hundred.

    You're a fashion industry veteran -- what's your background?

    I started working in the fashion industry as a teenager and worked for denim juggernauts Diesel and Miss Sixty. I learned everything about design from them. In 2004 I decided to build on the knowledge and experience by starting my own brand -- and Won Hundred was born.

    You founded Won Hundred with "ambition to challenge the way fashion was grasped in native Denmark" -- what were you trying to challenge?

    Fashion in Scandinavia was very different ten years ago. Now Scandinavian style is recognized as minimalistic and a major influence in global fashion, but back then it was a lot more showy and loud than it is now. When I started Won Hundred I was trying to challenge that method of dressing.

    How would you describe your brand?

    As a brand, Won Hundred is all about simplicity -- clean cuts and classic fits with a risky twist. Its focus is on great quality and beautiful cuts.

    Who/what are your fashion inspirations? Your design inspirations?

    We look to art, cinema and music movements for inspiration. For example, photographer Richard Avedon, furniture designer Arne Jacobsen, and of course, whatever I'm reading and listening to at the time has a huge influence on what I design.

    Describe your vision/references for your resort 2015 collection.

    This collection is heavily influenced by Bowie in the Berlin era. I was reading a book about this time in his career and it had a visible impact on the collection. Bowie's fashion sense is so totally unique to him. I love the way he has reinvented himself every decade, transforming from Ziggy Stardust to the Thin White Duke and onwards. He has changed everything about himself and his style yet is still so recognizably David Bowie. The prints we have used are very Bauhaus and the collection has a strong rock 'n' roll vibe to it.

    WonH2.jpgWhat is your design process and philosophy?

    My design process always begins with exploring a new artistic movement - whether it be in art, or music, or even architecture and design. I read about a certain period, or a certain artist and find inspirations in their methods and their work. My biggest influences are artists who consistently changed the way people perceived the world without compromising their artistic integrity.

    Who do you dream of dressing?

    I would love to get our jeans on Emmanuelle Alt and Nick Wooster. Also, who wouldn't want to dress Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg?

    If you weren't in fashion, what would you be doing?

    I would definitely be a chef.

    Describe the fashion and design community in your city.

    Copenhagen is known for making high fashion for affordable prices. It's such a fashionable city that there are a lot of innovative and new styles that originate from here. For such a small city, it has a huge population that is involved in fashion and design.

    boysH.jpgHow does the atmosphere of your city affect/influence your personal style?

    Copenhagen is a really down-to-earth, cool and easy city to be in. It's still a small city so it hasn't lost its charm. That easiness is very much reflected in my personal style as well.

    What do you think is the most exciting thing about modern fashion?

    Modern fashion is so fast. We are constantly pushed to do more and to do it better. It's cyclical, but because of the pace, the cycles are becoming shorter. Where it used to take 20 years for looks to come back into style, it now takes five, but every time we see a re-emerging trend, it is markedly different from the last time. It's a hotbed for innovation and recreation.

    Describe the Won Hundred customer.

    The Won Hundred customer is an intelligent, young professional with an appreciation for design and art. I'd rather see someone wearing Won Hundred at an underground art exhibition, or a gig for a really cool band, than at a fancy restaurant in Paris.

    What do you know now that you wish you had known when you started out?

    I wish I had known how to run a company in general -- it would have saved me from a lot of early mistakes. That learning curve is still so vital to how I make business decisions now. Actually, I probably wouldn't trade that for anything.
    What's next for Won Hundred?
    We are currently working on opening a brand new store and finding the best location in Central Copenhagen. We have collaborated with one of Denmark's best dressed women, ballerina Cecilie Lassen. Act II is a collection that is heavily influenced by her style, and Cecilie was instrumental in making this collection come alive.

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    forttildenfilm.jpgSarah-Violet Bliss

    This time last year, Fort Tilden was just in its beginning stages. Not the popular beach on the Rockaways -- the film that won the Grand Jury Prize at South by Southwest this past March. (Fun fact: Lena Dunham also won the SXSW Grand Jury Prize in 2010, and look where she is now). Written and directed by Sarah-Violet Bliss and Charles Rogers, the movie follows two twentysomething Brooklyn gals trekking to Fort Tilden beach and hitting chaos at every turn. A satire, the film opens a discussion about millennial stereotypes and issues of class and privilege.

    Born and raised in Brooklyn, Bliss attended film school at NYU and has produced well-received shorts starring the likes of James Franco, who appeared in the segment Still Life from the movie Tar, which premiered at the Rome Film Festival. Bliss sat down with us to talk about spoiled millennials, "hipster films," and the lack of female directors in Hollywood. 

    How did the process of making Fort Tilden begin?

    Last summer, Charles [Rodgers] and I were talking about making a webseries. One of the episode ideas we came up with was about two girls who go to Fort Tilden and we just kept having more ideas about what could happen. Everyone I know who's tried to get to Fort Tilden has some kind of story -- it shouldn't be that hard, it's right there, but somehow you mess it up. We were just like, 'this could be a feature,' but we kind of chucked that idea out. But eventually we were like, 'this could be a feature!' And [making features] is really what we wanted to be doing, anyway. So we really committed to the idea that day and the next day it was our full-time job.

    How has winning the Grand Jury Prize at SXSW affected you so far?

    It's changed my life. Both Charles and I signed with an agent and manager and they're awesome. We went to L.A. and had a lot of meetings. And at all these meetings and lunches people were like, 'so you won South by Southwest!' First of all, people are interested in seeing the movie that won; and then you'll have meetings with executives who will watch it just because it won. And that's why now I'm moving to L.A. People will pay attention to you a little bit more now.

    Screen Shot 2014-06-17 at 1.04.54 PM.png Clare McNulty and Bridey Elliott as Allie and Harper in a scene from Fort Tilden

    Fort Tilden has been grouped in with a genre called "hipster film." How do you feel about that?

    I guess my initial reaction is, "is that okay?" [I'm] not really feeling bad or good about that. I would never be like, "that's not true!" But I think people say that with a negative bent.

    But it makes complete sense that they say that. It's a satire... [The characters] are fun to make fun of. I don't want to say easy to make fun of because I think there's something we delve into that's important to talk about. The way we approach that at first seems sort of surface-y, but the film does have a lot more layers than you expect it to have.

    Was that the goal in the first place, to comment on the behavior of millennial hipsters?

    Yes. They're a combination of people who are my friends, people who are not my friends, and ourselves. Fort Tilden tries to very subtly hint that it's a little more complicated than just 'Millenials are spoiled.' I don't think all millennials are spoiled. I think every generation has its spoiled brats and I think millenials get a 'they're all spoiled brats' theme, and this movie does nothing to say anything different. There is a glimmer of hope at the end of the film, though.

    In terms of the movie, we're certainly not glorifying [this behavior]. The characters got this far but they're not going to get where they want to go because both of them are lost and their privileges handicap them. They're getting in their own way. In Fort Tilden, this day reveals a little bit of that to them.

    Fort Tilden official teaser

    The film industry has been called out for an under-representation of women behind the camera. What has your experience been as a female filmmaker?

    I've felt lucky because I never felt like I wasn't being respected on set. But I'll go to film festivals and I'll be like, 'oh, I am one of the only women here.' I went to one and someone asked me if I was an actress. It was interesting that that was their go-to. They didn't say, 'oh, what are you up to?' It was just, 'oh, are you an actress?' No...

    It's a mystery to me in a lot of way, though. Whenever I've had any sort of setback, it's never occurred to me that it was because I was a woman. I feel I have some advantages because there's so much support for women filmmakers. For me, it's never been a handicap, but then the numbers [of women filmmakers] are so low, I don't really know what that's about.

    What projects do you have on the horizon?

    I'm writing a feature right now by myself, and then in July, in a couple weeks, Charles and I are coming back together to try to work on a television show and we'll try to pitch that. I'm also still doing festival stuff with Fort Tilden, getting ready to move [to L.A.]. Ultimately, the dream is to make work with people who I really respect.

    Fort Tilden screens tonight at 9:45pm at Nitehawk Cinema as part of the Northside Film Festival

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  • 06/17/14--12:30: Lana Del Rey's Top 10 Looks
  • Today marks the release of Ultraviolence, Lana Del Rey's third full-length album. The orchestrated tones of Born to Die and Paradise are replaced with grungy, hazy rock on the new LP, which may have something to do with the fact that the bulk of the record was produced by The Black Key's Dan Auerbach. and Lana's breathy vocals make the transition seamless instead of seemingly trying too hard. In honor of La Lana's latest chapter, we're taking a look back on her ten ultrahottest looks.

    LanaShady.jpg[from Twitter]

    1. Lana looks like an extra from the set of Freaks and Geeks. We like.

    LanaNatlAnthem.jpg[from Twitter]

    2. Lana plays the Jackie Kennedy to A$AP Rocky's JFK Jr. in her "National Anthem" music video, complete with pillbox hat and all. But, really, she's not so much a Jackie Kennedy in this shot as a dead ringer for Priscilla Presley.

    Lanarollingstone.jpg[from Twitter]

    3. Though all-white-everything can often veer into "I'm going to Diddy's 'All White Hamptons Party' c. 2003," LDR manages to pull off a muy caliente look on the cover of Rolling Stone Mexico.

    Lanawreckingball.jpg[from Twitter]

    4. Lana closed her eyes and swung long before Miley did. We see her here donning the go-to cowgirl uniform: a fringe-y leather jacket, denim cutoffs, and cowboy boots.

    Lanaflag.jpg[from Twitter]

    5. This photo is so Urban Outfitters-y, it inspired us to scan their site in hopes of acquiring our very own Buttweiser shirt. No such luck. We'll leave this look to LDR.

    LanaMarilyn.jpg[from Twitter]

    6. Oh, hai, Marilyn! Who wore it better?

    LanaSailorMoon.jpg[from Twitter]

    7. This photo gives us a very Sailor Moon vibe, in a good way.

    Lana-Del-Rey-70s-hair-styles.jpeg[from La Gamine]

    8. Lana looks damn good in a floral headpiece. Too bad music festivals were never the same after this photo shoot. *Sigh*

    LanaAmericana.jpg[from Twitter]

    9. Here's our patriotic princess looking hot in another American fashion staple: white t-shirt + motorcycle jacket.

    10. Lana looks equal parts Maleficent and trendy fairy in this promotional album cover that was released with her song "Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight." In other words, she looks awesome.

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    Leisure Cruise, a new project from Broken Social Scene's Dave Hodge and Firehorse's Leah Siegel, has a new video out, "Earthquake," that we're excited to exclusively premiere. The video features pink and purple-tinged footage of rocket launches, power plants imploding and occasional glimpses of humans taking this all in. The imagery is a reference to the concept behind the band itself -- the idea that in the future humans might colonize a new planet and go on one "final leisure cruise for the human race."

    "A couple months after we started writing together, there was a discovery of a potentially huge number of 'mirror earths,' planets in other solar systems that could potentially host human life," Hodge and Siegel say of the source of inspiration. "The cruise off of this planet was, in our minds, the final step in our evolution, not an escape from our devolution...for us, the Leisure Cruise is a happy and peaceful exit when we leave Earth to let it rejuvenate."

    "Earthquake" appears on the band's self-titled debut album, out now via Last Gang Records.

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    After a relatively really nice summer so far, it's finally starting to get not-fun hot here in New York City, making the sparkling-blue swimming pool prominently featured in Lana Del Rey's new video for Ultraviolence single "Shades of Cool" all the more alluring. But, then again, this is Lana Del Rey we're talking about, and just about anything everything in this video is alluring and exotic,  down to the bad vertical blinds. (Not to self: Should we get vertical blinds and start dating a 70-year-old who looks like Drifter Fonzie?) The video relies on Del Rey's "if it aint broke," enduring "Hollywood sadcore" aesthetic, palm trees, inappropriate men, guns, cigarettes, Mullholand Drive-esque screen fades, the whole deal. Check it out above.

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    Watch Jimmy Fallon make a screaming and crying Kevin Hart face his deep fear of roller coasters on last night's Tonight Show. (Not for people who don't like heights. Or bugs.) [Uproxx]

    This grapefruit blow job-technique video (???) is not even remotely safe to watch at work (no nudity, but dildos), but it's the weirdest/best/weirdest thing we've ever seen. Just watch. The. Whole. Thing. The sound effects, oh god, the sound effects. What is happening? This was dubbed, right? Help us! [LaughterKey]

    Just gonna leave this right here. [CourtneyLove's Instagram]

    tumblr_mfod0vBrLn1rxni5wo1_1280.pngWe see what you did there. [LaughterKey]

    A baby makes an impassioned jibberish speech to a bulldog. [TastefullyOffensive]
     tumblr_n7bwg6h8Xm1qewacoo1_500.jpg Purrraise Lucifur! (Sorry) [TastefullyOffensive]

    ZDO5.jpgA+. [Mlkshk]

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