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    Morning Saddies: Lindsay Lohan was on the Late Show last night promoting Scary Movie 5, and David Letterman asked her why she wasn't in rehab. Though Lohan was not amused and things got a little awkward, the segment turned heartfelt toward the end when Letterman praised her for being able to laugh at herself and she teared up. Also, we like that dress.[Jezebel, Gawker]

    Aaand, on to Morning Funnies:

    Justin-Timberlake-White-House-Pictures.jpgJustin Timberlake went to the White House and made the exact same face we would make if we were in the same room as Michelle Obama. [PopSugar]

    Rebel Wilson was on the Tonight Show last night and talked about filming her first sex scene, which involved lots of sweating and nunchucks. Our crush deepens.
    Own this terrifying life-size E.T. puppet for a cool $250.
    P.S. Would you rather: Wake up and have E.T. at your bedside, doing that neck-extension/screaming thing he does when he gets scared? OR, have to spend one night with a non-rabid, low-energy bat in your bedroom? [io9]

    princehot2.gifAskdfjlh. [LaughterKey]

    Here's a video of a cat discovering its reflection in a mirror/having its mind blown. (Why didn't the person who shot this video set it to "Man In the Mirror?" Wasted opp.) [HyperVocal]

    PZL3.jpgThis is the look. And over 50% off too! [DangerousMinds]

    tumblr_mkyhfgA6vs1r0wqrdo1_500.jpgOh shit. [TheClearlyDope]

    If you need us, we'll be watching this video all day long. [DailyPicksandFlicks]

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    ppv_taboo.jpg"As Popcorn from The Laziest Girl in Town," 1982.

    Artist Stephen Tashjian -- best known by his drag stage name Tabboo! -- has been subverting the norms of good taste for so long now, it seems almost impossible to describe him to the uninitiated. Thankfully, Tashjian's work, a secret treasure from the golden age of '80s New York subculture, will be available to generations of new, young admirers via the book Tabboo! The Art of Stephen Tashjian, a flamboyant account of his life and art, out this month.

    Prolific in a way that borders on compulsivity, Tashjian was not only one of the most imaginative figures in the early-'80s East Village art scene: he also illustrated our world, lending his hand to the cover art of era-defining records by the likes of Deee-Lite and Book of Love and producing a seemingly infinite array of flyers and ads for the most celebrated nightclubs of the day, like the Pyramid Club and Mudd Club. He was just as likely to be found inside those clubs, designing their interiors or commanding the stage as Tabboo! Of all that, Tashjian simply says, "I worked in nightclubs when nightlife actually mattered."

    ppv_taboo2.jpgA flyer for the Pyramid club, 1987 by Stephen Tashjian from Tabboo! The Art of Stephen Tashjian.

    Forced to think back on his accomplishments while putting the 224-page book together, Tashjian says, "I never did any of it for fame or money. Perhaps that's why I have neither." Much like his art, however, the book reflects an untold creative wealth. Tabboo! is a poignant autobiography chronicling the evolution of a soul that would never grow up, as well as a peculiar portrait of beauty from a figure who has been muse to many, including Steven Klein, Nan Goldin, Ai Weiwei and Jack Pierson (who wrote an essay for the book). But most of all, the book is a remarkable collection of paintings from an artist whose visionary brut stands as some of the finest work produced in the East Village of yore.

    Tabboo! The Art of Stephen Tashjian is out April 30th via Damiani

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    Check out this most excellent clip (h/t to World's Best Ever) for "Junior's Throwin Craze" by England-born, California-raised dude Simon James -- aka Woolfy -- who "[takes] partying seriously." The star of this Groundhog Day-style loop has to be the vehicle: a cool little micro car that fits in an elevator and has a license plate that says "PEEL." The driver leaves work, goes home to change and then heads to a club on Doyers Street in Chinatown. But what's that in his briefcase? Producer Sue Kwon and director Shadi Perez have perfectly captured New York City nightlife and the everyday drama of balancing work and play. Still, it's all about that car.

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    Oh, to have been The Cutting Room last night. Little did we know that Sharon Needles, goth queen and winner of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 4, would be performing and previewing songs from his new album. If that weren't enough, Sharon performed a song he penned when during his angsty teenage years called "I Wish I Were Amanda Lepore" -- with Amanda Lepore! Thank god Francis Legge was around to capture the fabulous moment. Check it out above.

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    Michelle-Williams-Kate-Young.jpgLast night's Kate Young for Target party at the Old School, which was made to look like a Valentine's dance in a high school gym, was chock full of movers and shakers including Maggie Gyllenhaal, Derek Blasberg, Pamela Love, Constance Jablonski, and the Brant brothers. Between sips of champagne and having flashbacks of our middle school dances -- surely the last time we were seen in a school gym -- we had a few minutes to talk with the big star of the evening, Michelle Williams. Williams was in high spirits and rocking a new 'do, so we thought it was the perfect time to talk to her about her controversial torture scene in Oz the Great and Powerful, her new movie Suite Française, and the work of raising a kid.  

    Tell us about that great scene were Rachel Weisz's character tortures your character in Oz the Great and Powerful.

    Oh, you liked it? You liked watching me get tortured? [Laughs.]

    Well, just a little... 
    [Director] Sam Raimi also liked it. Sam wanted her to slap me, and then kiss me, and then slap me again. We didn't go for that. The torture was all about  -- well the more torturous part was being chained up. I've never been chained up before. And having burns around your wrist. But it was kind of fun to figure out how somebody gets tortured, how electricity would hit your body. I weirdly also kind of enjoyed it.

    You did?
    Oh yeah.  

    So you're also set to be in the movie adaption of WWII novel Suite Française -- which will focus on a French peasant girl falling in love with a German commander occupying her home. Have you read the book?
    Yes, I have. I was given the book many, many years ago.

    Tell me about your role.
    [It's all about] forbidden love. I like the story because it's a heroic story and I feel like those are always worth telling.

    Do you have any side projects right now?
    No, I wish I had side projects! I'm kind of like a "one thing at a time" girl. I can't really take on [more]. I wish I was. I wish I was one of those people who's also taking lots of photos. and going to cooking classes. But I just work and raise the kid. That's all I can do.

    Well, raising the kid is a job in and of itself.
    Raising the kid is the work, yeah. And it's amazing, and it's the ultimate creative act. That's my side project and my center project. 

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    Daniel_Hauschild_photo.jpgEach week in our new column, "No Sleep Til...," we'll be talking to cool kids around the globe, asking them to fill us in about the bands, DJs, music venues and night spots they and their friends are obsessing over. Next time you visit their home city, leave your Fodor's and Lonely Planet guides behind and go party like a local instead.


    Daniel Hauschild



    Where do you live?

    Hamburg, Germany

    What do you do?

    I study Applied Cultural Science and Digital Media Production [and am] currently writing my Bachelor's thesis. Since my focus within these studies is on music, I'm also running a blog with good friends about the music that we like called Cutting-Hedge. I also do a radio show on ByteFM, which is the best Internet radio station in Germany for all types of music.

    What Hamburg-based bands or DJs are you obsessed with right now?

    To be honest, there isn't too much music I'm obsessed with from Hamburg-based artists. From my point of view, there are not many people with official artist names and records but more people that are involved in different projects for others. But you should definitely check out joney, Trapmasters and Ticklish. I discovered them all in the clubs of Hamburg, especially the Golden Pudel Klub.

    All three acts are DJs who produce music for the dance floor. joney has been producing for some years now and went through different musical phases. You can definitely hear his own style in his productions, which always oscillate between hip-hop and electronic. Trapmasters -- as the name slightly suggests -- is a project that's all about the trap sound that's all over the place right now. Trapmasters got signed to Boys Noize' own imprint. Boys Noize was also born in Hamburg (but resides in Berlin, which is why I didn't include him in the selection above). Ticklish is also a new project -- his debut EP, Loose Squares, is coming out soon so you should definitely keep a look out for that. As for joney, he is like a resident dj in the Golden Pudel Klub. I saw him playing DJ sets there a lot and found his music through soundcloud. Sunday evening is the best time to check out the Golden Pudel Klub.

    Where are the cool places to see live music in your hometown?

    Golden Pudel Klub, Baalsaal, EGO, Üebel & Gefährlich. The booker from Pudel always creates a great line-up within the electronic music sphere and the club itself has an indescribable vibe. If it gets too hot or muggy [inside], you can relax outside with a great view over the harbor docks. If you are interested in electronic music [and find yourself on the Reeperbahn], Baalsaal and EGO are good.

    Describe your perfect night out in Hamburg.

    Digging deeper within music and finding sounds I like over the past years has also made me picky when it comes to going out. As a teenager it was all about getting drunk at a place with enough girls to have a good party but nowadays my perspective is different. It's really important to me who is playing the venue although it's sometimes nice to discover something totally new without any expectations. I really appreciate places without a forced dress code since I'm not too much into fancy dressing.

    What's your favorite bar/nightclub?

    Golden Pudel Klub. See above.

    What's a bar or nightclub you would NEVER go to in Hamburg?

    On of Hamburg's must-see sights is the Reeperbahn at night, which is a street over a mile long and full of bars and clubs and the Redlight District businesses. Crossing the Reeperbahn is the Große Freiheit (which means "great freedom"), a small and short street with a lot going on. As a young local or a tourist this might be your starting point to discover the Reeperbahn but there is not a single spot in there I would recommend.

    Check out Daniel's band and DJ recs:

    joney -- "Oh Alright"

    Trapmasters -- Remix of Rihanna's "Diamonds"

    Ticklish -- "No 1 But U"

    Check out Daniel's nightlife listings:

    Golden Pudel Club, Sankt Pauli Fischmarkt 27, 22767, Hamburg

    Baalsaal, Reeperbahn 25, 20359, Hamburg

    EGO,Talstraße 9, 20359, Hamburg

    Üebel & Gefährlich, Feldstraße 66, 20359, Hamburg

    No Sleep Til...Paris

    No Sleep Til...Sydney
    No Sleep Til...Brussels
    No Sleep Til...Bogotá
    No Sleep Til...Copenhagen
    No Sleep Til...Seoul
    No Sleep Til...Oslo
    No Sleep Til...Johannesburg
    No Sleep Til...Gothenburg

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    garyview2.JPGView from Mr. Mickey's window of demolition now in progress

    PAPER's move from downtown Manhattan to midtown almost seven years ago brought us not only more affordable rent but also a brave new neighborhood in Korea Town. Soon enough, things began to change with the improvement of Madison Square Park, the arrival of the Ace Hotel and a hip new acronym: NOMAD, or NOrth of MADison (Square Park). Now the High Line ends just down the street and tons more hip hotels have opened or are in the works -- we're even getting a branch of London's Dover Street Market over on Lexington and 30th.

    Unfortunately, the city's booming real estate market is also going to affect our views. Yes, we knew it was coming, but a look out of our windows facing north now includes the destruction of four buildings along Madison Avenue. Several developers have had elaborate plans for the corner, but the site keeps changing hands. In 2006, it was going to be something called Sundari Lofts and Towers, but by 2012, was taken over by J.D. Carlisle Development and the plans changed to an even bigger building. Now that the last of the old buildings on the corner are coming down, who knows how big the new building will be.

    leyva158madison.jpgBuilding proposed by J.D. Carlisle in 2012 -- before the destruction of the four small buildings in the foreground. [via The Real Deal]

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    In honor of it being our "Sweet 16" Beautiful People issue, we asked some of this year's BPs to share what they did on their special day. Watch Penn Badgley, PAPER Cover Girl Jessie Ware, Joey Bada$$ and male models Cory Bond, Chad White and Brian Shimansky talk about their big 1-6 and hear who celebrated with a tea party, who had a surprise bowling party and who got drunk on "vodka that's meant for vodka sauce." MTV's My Super Sweet 16, these were not.


    Video by Jacqueline Di Milia and Whitney Spaner / Edited by Isabel Alcantara

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    nude-men-exhibit.jpg1.  If anyone in Paris is as interested in the male form as we are, there's an exhibit coming to Musée d'Orsay in September called "Nude Men: From 1800 to the present day." [via The Art Newspaper]

    tumblr_ml0apitCgZ1qejocno1_500.jpg2.  Here's Louis C.K. on the new cover of Rolling Stone.

    lauder5-jumbo.jpg3.  Leonard A. Lauder is giving his collection of Cubist art (which rivals the collections of MoMA and Centre Pompidou, by the by) to the Met. Works include 33 Picassos, 17 Braques, 14 Légers and 14 by Gris. [via NYTimes]

    faa7ed40.jpg4.  Kate Bush just received a CBE -- or Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire -- award from the Queen of England, meaning she's thisclose to attaining knighthood. [via Pitchfork]

    statueoflib.gifwashingtonmonument.gif5.  Artist and researcher Nikolay Lamm made these helpful GIFs showing how some of our favorite tourist spots will look after global warming causes the sea level to rise. [via PopSci]

    merkoski-24_600.jpg6.  In this interview with the Times, Jason Merkoski, one of the creators of the Kindle, called Amazon "the mean stepmother in a fairy tale" and added, "I think we've made a proverbial pact with the devil in digitizing our words." [via NPR]

    david-shapiro.jpg7.  David Shapiro bought the space that Loreley Biergarten once occupied (in Williamsburg, right next to the BQE) and is planning to replace it with Kingbird, A "New York comfort food" restaurant with a more complex patio and "crazy awning structure." [via DNA Info]

    milk-vodka.jpg8.  Here's the world's first vodka made from milk. The concept makes us a little nauseous but we'll try to keep an open mind. [via Design Taxi]

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    AstroMadMenFINAL.jpgFor all Mad Men enthusiasts, I will be creating the "natal charts" for each of the three main characters of the show whose birthdays we were able to uncover: Don Draper, Peggy Olson and Joan Holloway Harris. The editors of Paper Magazine have done some digging to find the birth dates of these three -- the only characters to have their birth dates revealed on different occasions during the past five seasons of the show.

    No times of birth were listed, of course, so I looked at the natal planets that were at play on the dates stated and also placed the birth in the city that approximated the place each character alluded to as a home birth city. In Joan's case, we don't know her home birth city so I had to make an educated guess based on the scarce details we know of her upbringing. I estimated the ascendant sign too (also called the "rising sign"), judging by the traits and talents of each person on the show. Keep in mind that my analysis relates to the character in the story, not the actor playing the part. To discuss the actor would be a whole other article!

    In case you're not familiar with the term "rising sign" or "ascendant" (both terms are used interchangeably, as they have the same meaning in astrology), a rising sign is the sign found coming up over the eastern horizon at the precise minute of birth no matter what time of day that happened to be. (It does not have to be in the morning -- and rarely is for many people!). It includes a calculation of the longitude and latitude of the place of birth too. The rising sign is considered equal in importance to the Sun sign and explains why all Sun sign natives are not alike -- we are all a combination of both. Specifically, the rising sign reflects the qualities you adapted naturally to cope with life.

    Now, without any more delay, let's get started with the second of our three main characters:

    Screen shot 2013-04-10 at 4.40.33 PM.pngJoan Holloway Harris
    Over the course of five seasons, we watch Joan use her savvy -- and make some difficult decisions -- to go from office manager to partner at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

    The show revealed Joan Holloway Harris to be a Pisces, born on February 24, 1931. We don't know where Joan was born so for our purposes (and based on the limited information available on the show), I've assigned her birth location to Hartford, Connecticut and her birth time at 7:45 a.m.

    Pisces is a tender, compassionate sign that is born with a great deal of imagination and vision. Pisces is always happiest when working on their own creative projects or at the very least, to be close to others working on theirs. Creativity to a Pisces is like oxygen to the soul, so it does make sense that Joan is a Pisces.

    Pisces also loves to take care of others who need their help -- the person they help might often be a complete stranger -- and Joan is like the earth mother at the advertising agency (even if she can occasionally come off as bristling -- it's just tough love!). She is sensitive to everyone's needs in the office, doing small thoughtful things like bringing chocolates and flowers to the office switchboard workers, giving advice to a new secretarial recruit, or taking the time to give an executive a shoulder to cry on. In each case, she will dispense wise advice in a concise way.

    I feel Joan has entrepreneurial, courageous, confident, and sometimes bold Aries rising. This would place her natal Uranus in Aries in the most important place in the chart, on the eastern horizon. Uranus would bring out a strongly independent, dramatic streak of her personality and hint at the modern woman that lies just under the surface.

    Screen shot 2013-04-02 at 11.17.11 AM.png A copy of Joan's driver's license, which reveals her date of birth

    With Aries rising, Uranus would make Joan's appearance striking and memorable -- Joan has that quality, for sure. Joan is also a striking redhead, one who is given to wearing red dresses to the office season after season. Uranus rising would also make a person very charming and bring out a kaleidoscope of interesting facets to her personality. At the same time, with Uranus rising, Joan can be aloof and hard to get to know to those who are just meeting her for the first time. That seems to fit Joan, too. Joan knows many people but chooses her closest friends carefully -- she doesn't waste her time. Yet Joan's voice is surprisingly soft in a way you'd not expect from a strong personality (strong due to her Aries rising). Her voice belies a strong underlying femininity, thanks to her Pisces Sun. Pisces is very girly, and contributes powerfully to her compassionate ways. Her Sun is in the twelfth house of secrets, and she does hold secrets that others tell her in strict confidence.

    Uranus is the natural ruler of Aquarius, so with Uranus rising, Joan would have an Aquarius shading to her personality and that explains why she would be friendly to staff, and why she would get along well with Don and Peggy. (Don Draper has the moon in Aquarius, and Peggy Olson is strongly Aquarius too, due to the interception of Aquarius in her first house of personality). People with Uranus rising, as I feel Joan has, will make decisions that make sense to them, but that often surprise or even shock others around them. Joan was married to Dr. Greg Harris, but their child was in truth fathered by senior partner, Roger Sterling. 

    The way Joan becomes a partner at the firm is perhaps the most unusual move she's ever made -- and that is an understatement. Joan agrees to sleep with a client at Jaguar in return for a partnership in the firm, which would also give her a seat on the board. Acquiring the Jaguar account would allow the ad agency to establish itself on a whole new level and would allow Joan the same benefit. Some would call this a "win-win" situation for all, although it is shocking at best, illegal at worst, and very high on the "Eww" factor. Despite Joan's complete shock and disdain for the idea, she surprises everyone on the board and goes through with it -- and makes her demands for the resulting compensation.

    Screen shot 2013-04-10 at 4.36.37 PM.pngJoan Holloway Harris' natal chart

    Why did Joan go ahead with this sleazy plan? By the time this "opportunity" came up, Joan was in a precarious place in life. She already had a child she was raising alone and knew an opportunity to quickly rise to the top might never come again in any form. Joan quickly perceived this to be her chance of a lifetime, one that could change her life and that of her child permanently for the better. She moved ahead with the offer despite her misgivings, because of the considerable back-end benefit. She quickly named her price and got it. What surprised everyone was the powerful contribution she would make once she was on the board, keeping the men organized, and never letting her eye off the bottom line.

    Joan's natal moon is in practical Taurus, a global financial sign like Cancer and Capricorn. Joan has three natal planets in financially savvy, thrifty Cancer -- Mars, Jupiter and Pluto. If you doubt the depth of financial acumen of the sign of Cancer, consider that most of the Rockefeller family was born frugal, financially smart Cancers too.

    Joan proves to be an interesting, strong, independent woman, well suited for her evolving role as corporate board member. With Aries rising, she is a born leader, and her advice in regard to new clients, new markets and new media techniques will prove valuable to the firm in the future. She may also have wise thoughts to share about opportunities in regard to mergers and acquisitions. Joan quickly established herself not as a little girl dressed up in mommy's best dress and high heels, but a thoroughly modern woman ready to take on the world.

    If you would like Susan Miller to explain your natal chart to you in a custom 65-page book, you can go to Order the yellow-purple cover book, and it will be ready in approximately two weeks. Once you know your rising sign, you can find horoscopes for it, along with your Sun sign, on Miller's website,

    More Mad Men Astrology Charts:
    Peggy Olson

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    Riff-Raff-2012-MTV-VMA-Jewelry.jpgBREAKING NEWS: RiFF RAFF will be on One Life to Live and he'll play a character named -- wait for it... -- Jamie Franko (get it?). He'll be a "shady art dealer who visists Llanview's popular hot spot, Shelter." DVRing this in 3-2-1. [via Press Release]

    Screen shot 2013-04-10 at 6.58.35 PM.pngMore amazing Arrested Development posters from Netflix. [via Hyper Vocal]

    tumblr_ml1oeegPng1rn7bzro1_500.gifGoing so fast but not moving anywhere: this is how we feel when we need to make the transfer from the L train to the 6 every morning. [via Knusprig Titten Hitler]

    We're gonna DVR this'll be ing our queue right beneath RiFF RaFF's soap opera debut. [via Coin Farts]

    tumblr_mkufh4wcMt1s1kqkyo1_500.pngJohn Mayer. It's always the John Mayer that's the deal breaker. [via Afternoon Snooze Button]

    tumblr_ml03ljHfF41r0wqrdo1_500.jpgGender non-conforming Justin Bieber. [via Humor Train]

    tumblr_mkrkp9rjii1rmoryfo1_500.jpg2 Buck Chuck -- collect 'em all. [via 100 Years of Lolitude]

    tumblr_ml1uyvPIOI1ruw1vso1_1280.jpgGame of Thrones cast clowning IRL. [via Laughter Key]

    tumblr_ml2342R1FJ1r0wqrdo1_500.jpgWell, that's morbid. [via Humor Train]

    Here's a woodchuck eating an ice cream cone on its birthday. Happy birthday, Woodchuck! [via Buzzfeed]

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    When Bend Sinister guitarist Joseph Blood got cast as an extra in an adult film, the Vancouver musician slipped a copy of his band's album Small Fame to the film's star, celebrity performer James Deen. Won over by the band's combination of classic metal beats, proggy organ melodies and singer Dan Moxon's live-wire tenor, Deen agreed to drive to the Mojave Desert with the film's director Lee Roy Myers to shoot a video for closing track "Quest for Love." In the video, Deen mugs in a Rob Halford-style leather vest and spiked bracelets as electricity flows through his body.

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    Market director and compulsive shopper Luigi Tadini scouts his favorite stores and Instagrams the season's best buys. Follow him at @papermagazine.

    ppv_his_bomberjacket.jpgBomber jacket and pants by Tommy Hilfiger. $498 and $228 at Tommy Hilfiger, 681 Fifth Ave., New York.

    ppv_his_shoes.jpgShoes by Marc Jacobs. $795 at

    ppv_his_glasses.jpgSunglasses by Paul Smith. $410 at

    ppv_his_bowtie.jpgBrocade bow tie by Lanvin. $320 at Lanvin, 815 Madison Ave., New York.

    "This Lanvin bow tie is totally delicious! The coyote seems to agree." -- LT

    ppv_his_4shoes.jpgShoes by Prada. $620 at

    ppv_his_rings.jpgSignet rings by David Yurman. Price upon request at

    ppv_his_jacket.jpgJacket by Antonio Azzuolo. $1,515 at

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    blessingofthebikes_003.pngThe 15th Annual Blessing of the Bikes takes place on Saturday, April 20th at 9 a.m. sharp at the Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine (located on the corner of 112th Street and Amsterdam Avenue). Rollerskates, skateboards and non-motorized scooters are also welcome to participate. There will be a few words from Reverend Tom Miller before he sprinkles the vehicles with holy water, as well as a moment of silence for cyclists we've lost in the last year. If you can't get out of bed before noon -- or if you feel the need to have your skateboard blessed twice in one day -- head downtown to St. Mark's Church-in-the-Bowery (at 131 East 10th Street) for their 1st Annual Blessing of the Bicycles that afternoon at 2 p.m. It's "open to all ages and cyclists of all skill level and experience." Since we are now the unofficial clearinghouse for bike-blessing events, please let us know of any in your hood. As the Blessing of the Bike's website says: "Some people take it very seriously, some think it's all a big joke, and some are deeply offended. No mater which of those opinions works best for you... good on you!"

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    AstroMadMenFINAL.jpgFor all Mad Men enthusiasts, I will be creating the "natal charts" for each of the three main characters of the show whose birthdays we were able to uncover: Don Draper, Peggy Olson and Joan Holloway Harris. The editors of Paper Magazine have done some digging to find the birth dates of these three -- the only characters to have their birth dates revealed on different occasions during the past five seasons of the show.

    No times of birth were listed, of course, so I looked at the natal planets that were at play on the dates stated and also placed the birth in the city that approximated the place each character alluded to as a home birth city. In Joan's case, we don't know her home birth city so I had to make an educated guess based on the scarce details we know of her upbringing. I estimated the ascendant sign too (also called the "rising sign"), judging by the traits and talents of each person on the show. Keep in mind that my analysis relates to the character in the story, not the actor playing the part. To discuss the actor would be a whole other article!

    In case you're not familiar with the term "rising sign" or "ascendant" (both terms are used interchangeably, as they have the same meaning in astrology), a rising sign is the sign found coming up over the eastern horizon at the precise minute of birth no matter what time of day that happened to be. (It does not have to be in the morning -- and rarely is for many people!). It includes a calculation of the longitude and latitude of the place of birth too. The rising sign is considered equal in importance to the Sun sign and explains why all Sun sign natives are not alike -- we are all a combination of both. Specifically, the rising sign reflects the qualities you adapted naturally to cope with life.

    Now, without any more delay, let's get started with the last of our three main characters:

    Screen shot 2013-04-11 at 2.20.26 PM.pngDon Draper
    Creative Director and Partner of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

    Thanks to that memorable scene when Megan Draper sang "Zou Bisou Bisou" at Don's surprise 40th birthday last season, we know that Don's birth date is June 1, 1926. However, during that episode, Don indicated he had actually turned 40 six months previous, leading us to believe he celebrates the real Don Draper's birthday day but his own (Dick Whitman) birth year. Thus, Dick Whitman's real date of birth would fall around December 1, 1925 (more on that later). As Don Draper, he is a Gemini and was born with Mercury (news, communication, sales) orbiting close to his birthday Sun. He works in an advertising agency, so the emphasis on Gemini fits his personality and explains his choice of career. His moon is in another air sign, Aquarius, again, which fits with his communications-oriented profession. On the show, Don Draper is said to be an extraordinary wordsmith and idea presenter, and soon the viewer sees clearly why he has risen through the ranks to such an important position as partner in the firm.

    When it comes to Gemini, "wordsmith extraordinaire" is a perfect description of this sign's talent. Most Gemini can run rings around others when it comes to having a debate, giving a speech, writing a book -- or advertising copy. Gemini is also associated with commerce and the daily buying, selling, and negotiating, and members of this sign are said to be talented with this process.

    Gemini are often so compelling and entertaining when speaking, writing, or negotiating that it is impossible not to pay full attention to them when they have something to say. President John F Kennedy was a Gemini -- his speeches had the power to rally an entire nation to his cause. To this day, Gemini JFK is considered one of our finest presidential orators. In ancient days, it was said that the king of the land would only employ Gemini to interpret and inscribe the king's laws on clay tablets. When Gemini handled the task, the populace could understand the laws, and follow them. This makes you wonder why the IRS doesn't hire only Gemini to inform us of their new rules on their website and on their brochures and newsletters!

    With his natal Aquarius moon, Don Draper is naturally gregarious, and always up for a night out with friends. Don's natal moon is found conjunct to his natal Jupiter, which usually means he might have had a good relationship with a woman, most likely his mother. (In astrology there is a pecking order, and we need to always start with mother as we go down the list of possibilities). In this case, however, Don's unhappy childhood rules his mother out -- his biological mother was a prostitute who died in childbirth and by all accounts, his stepmother did not treat him well. Thus, we go to the next in line, to wife, and in that area, Don has indeed been fortunate. He married twice, both times to stunningly beautiful, intelligent women who where exceedingly good to him and in the case of Betty, his first wife, she took very good care of the children they had together.

    His moon conjunct Jupiter would also bring Don benefits from all women in general. The women around Don certainly do adore him, and seem to fall quickly under this powerful magnetism. He benefits from women too, such as when he hired Peggy as a secretary and supported her promotion to copywriter. Peggy proved to be a jewel, and she made Don shine. (As you will see in Peggy's personality profile, she blends well with Don.) 

    Still, there is one little incongruous part of the story. A Gemini is usually an open book to others, but Don Draper is a very secretive person. Here I am not only referring to his continual infidelities, but also to his even more bothersome need to conceal and change his identity. Though born Richard Whitman, Don assumed the identity of a fellow fallen soldier named Don Draper whom he met while serving in the Korean War. He knew if he did this, his family would believe Richard "Dick" Whitman was dead, and hence, he could avoid going back to his old life, one that brought with it memories of a deeply unhappy family life. By stealing the identity of this fallen soldier, he was able to get a fresh start. His plan worked -- his family was told he died in the war and for a long time, no one was the wiser. This is a very extreme move and hints how deeply wounded a person Don is inside, a truth that will eventually cause other ramifications in future episodes in coming seasons. He never directly deals with that hurt.

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    Don Draper's natal chart

    I feel Don Draper has Scorpio rising. Don is not only secretive (a prime Scorpio trait) but is also very sexy, suave and sophisticated -- a virtual 007 -- and those sparkling qualities are always associated with Scorpio. With his bedroom gaze, Don is completely irresistible. Scorpio is said to be the sexiest sign, and Don Draper fits the bill. He seems to be quite skilled in bed too, for women seem to keep coming back for more even though he is not faithful.

    With his ascendant being Scorpio, he would have his natal Uranus (genius) and natal Mars (action and intent) in the fifth house of creativity -- that would fit his life in advertising beautifully. He is brilliant at coming up with ideas for his advertising campaigns, and also good at selling his ideas to clients. He does this in classic Scorpio style: honing in on a key point, and never squandering his words on points that are not germane to his sales argument. Don Draper stays on message, as Scorpios are known to do, perhaps better than anyone else. Scorpio is a shrewd business sign, and highly intuitive, which I feel fits Don quite well, too.

    Also with the Scorpio rising I have chosen for him, Don would have natal Saturn in Scorpio in his first house of personality, so Don would have a deeply serious side. According to the story line, he does. His ad pitch on Hawaii to clients in the season six premiere episode revealed a surprisingly candid look at his philosophical side, including a hint at his attitude about life and death.

    Gemini often has a very complicated relationship with siblings, and Gemini character Don Draper does with his brother, Adam. Stern Saturn in Scorpio RULES Don's third house of sisters and brothers. When his younger brother, Adam comes across a photograph of Don accepting an award for an ad campaign in a newspaper, Adam seeks him out. Adam is amazed, shocked and thrilled to see that his brother is still alive (not having been killed in the army in Korea).

    Don, hoping to keep his past locked tightly shut, is horrified by being contacted by his younger brother. Don gives Adam an envelope of money ($5,000) and tells him that there won't be any more cash for him, and that he (Don) never wants to see Adam again. Adam, who never asked for the money but only wanted a relationship with his brother moving forward, is deeply hurt and ultimately falls into a depression leading to his suicide. In later episodes we see that Don's crass behavior toward Adam leaves Don feeling guilty -- a feeling that would later haunt him. Don discovers it's not so easy to erase one's past.

    Natal Saturn is in hard angle to his natal Neptune in Don's birth chart, explaining his heavy-handling of his brother and hinting at a possible misunderstanding of what really was going on in the family during Don's childhood. That can become another whole set of episodes, for the "chart" of this character indicates Don was probably not seeing things as they really were back then, when he was little.

    Finally, Saturn is in Scorpio in Don Draper's first house and that house rules not only personality but also physical vitality. Saturn's placement indicates that Don's smoking and drinking will eventually have an adverse affect on his health; Don does not seem concerned about his health now, but may well have to worry about it in the future. In one episode he ignores a sore tooth, and the dentist tells him that had he delayed coming in any longer, he could have had an abscess that may have been so severe, it could have taken away part of his jaw and changed the look of his (handsome) face. For a person who has gotten ahead and relied on his good looks for the breaks and happiness in life, that had to be a sobering moment. Saturn demands we follow the rules and be sensible and mature. Saturn always brings consequences to a poorly made action -- or to complete lack of action. Don would do best to take good care of his health now, while he can still do so.

    Will Don continue to chase women? This was the open-ended question that punctuated the end scene of the last season. Unfortunately, it appears that the answer is "yes." In last week's premiere, we see Don canoodling in bed with his neighbor's wife. Only time will tell what kind of ramifications this might have on his second marriage and on his happiness. 

    Don seems to sense his past will eventually catch up with him, one way or another, for good or bad. With transiting Saturn now in Scorpio (in real life), it makes perfect sense that Don's reflective side would start to come out. I think we are about to see a new, more contrite side to Don Draper -- one who is not only the golden boy who has gotten by with charm and good looks, but also the enlightened man who wants to consider his eventual legacy -- to the world and to his children. It looks like we will see some changes in Don, possibly revealing a new and more mature side to his character. Will he become a tragic character or an inspiring one? That decision is up to Don.

    Dick Whitman

    Now onto Don Draper 'real' chart. Not only did Dick Whitman take a deceased soldier's name, he also took his birth date, June 1, 1926. Dick Whitman's real birthday was precisely six months earlier, December 1, 1925, so in a way they shared the same axis, Gemini-Sagittarius, and therefore both birthdays deal with communication, including an intense interest in broadcasting and publishing.

    I feel the June birthday takes precedence over the old one, but let's have a look at that December 1, 1925 -- a birthday Don Draper no longer celebrates. This is the first time I have been asked to compare the charts of a fictitious character that stole another's character's identity!

    Again, I feel that Don Draper has Scorpio rising for all the reasons I mention in the main article I wrote about him concerning the June 1, 1925 chart he assumed. The fact that his mother was a prostitute gives extra credence to the idea Draper (Richard Whitman) has Scorpio rising, as Scorpios in general seem to have to confront matters involving sex or reproduction.

    The December 1 chart is chart is laden with responsibility and a proclivity for sadness or depression. Don would have bouts of depression or feelings of isolation, and later in life may have found sex to be an antidote to growing up a motherless child. Saturn falls very close to the Sun, on this day, and sometimes a baby born with this aspect can have serious health concerns and its very life may be in danger. The babies that survive Saturn conjunct the Sun in the first days of life often grow up to become very strong -- this describes our hero, Don.

    The Sun always points to a male in a chart, so it not only describes Don but also points to his father. In this case, it appears Don's father was plagued by burdens in life and was often quite depressed. Saturn conjunct the Sun can also describe a father who was too stern with his children, too cold and unemotional, and too aloof.

    Don was "smart" to trade in his birthday for the June 1, 1926 birthday of the deceased soldier. I can't believe I just said that, but it's true -- the June chart is the better one. Uranus is found in the fourth house of home in Don Draper's "real" chart (actually Richard Whitman's chart), creating continual change. More aptly said, home brought nothing but sudden, unpredictable chaos for our hero. Pluto in Cancer (here Cancer points to family member) in his eighth house suggests Don suffered a loss of a family member at an early age -- that turned out to be the death of his mother.

    In the old chart, Dick Whitman/Don Draper still has an analytical air-sign moon. In the June chart that he took on, Don had the moon in air-sign Aquarius. This time Don has the moon in Libra in the same element (air), showing an ability to work well in collaborative situations. Air signs are especially talented in communication, so Don's talent with words are strong in the "old" and the "new" chart, quite remarkably. Jupiter in the third house gives amazing talent with writing, speaking, and -- you guessed it -- all kinds of negotiation matters related to commerce, promotion and advertising copy. Don need not stay in advertising if he should ever feel he would like to have a change -- one day he may write a book on his recollections of the advertising business.

    Someone with the moon in Libra usually likes to be married, so despite the horrible example of family life that his parents presented to him as a child, Don still believes in marriage, for he married twice.

    If you would like Susan Miller to explain your natal chart to you in a custom 65-page book, you can go to Order the yellow-purple cover book, and it will be ready in approximately two weeks. Once you know your rising sign, you can find horoscopes for it, along with your Sun sign, on Miller's website,

    More Mad Men Astrology Charts:
    Peggy Olson
    Joan Holloway Harris

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    It's been a while since we've heard from LGBT filmmaker James Duke Mason, but his noir thriller Disappear Here officially has a teaser. In case your memory's in need of jogging, the film is directed by Matthew Mishory, produced by Mason's father Morgan Mason (producer of Sex, Lies & Videotape who got back into the business to produce it) and centers around a young actor (played by Mason) who becomes embroiled in a blackmail conspiracy to derail a senator's presidential campaign. The full feature will be shot later this year. Mason told us back in the day that the movie is "going to serve as a catalyst for making a difference for the openly gay actors in Hollywood and trying to shed some light on those issues...that have never been exposed in this way before." It certainly looks like it'll shed light on that and more. Check out the sex, politics and brooding in dark corners above.

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    Baltimore-based artist Dina Kelberman's work grows out of her affinity for organizing imagery, whether she finds it from surfing long hours on the Internet or from other media sources like television or her daily life. Her latest project, "I'm Google," highlights the beauty in the monotony of Google Image Search. Hosted on an ongoing Tumblr blog, the project serves as a stream of consciousness of sorts for Kelberman, who uses the blog to catalogue her Internet findings, which tend to focus on simple, industrial products and objects including gymnastic mats and household wares. In the process of searching for imagery, one photograph leads to the next and Kelberman quickly discovers new ideas and new topics, a phenomenon that she wanted to explore in this project (and one that reminds us of the "Wikipedia K-hole" phenomenon where one link leads to the next and to the next and suddenly you're reading about alien abductions). The Tumblr is seemingly never-ending, just like Google Image Search itself. Below, check out some snapshots from I'm Google.

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    Roll out your red carpet (home version) for the world premiere of "Obey the Giant." The first narrative film on the early life of the acclaimed artist Shepard Fairey airs on the Internet on April 15. Directed by New York-based filmmaker Julian Marshall -- and starring Josh Wills as the young Mr. Fairey -- the short (26-minute) film follows the artist during his student days at RISD in Providence, Rhode Island, and his epic battle with that city's mayor. Shepard, you may recall, was the guest editor of our November 2010 "Art" issue, but we'll have to wait for "Obey II" to see him in action at our NYC headquarters. Go here to watch "Obey the Giant"on the 15th.

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    1.  For reasons we don't understand, Molly Ringwald did a smooth jazz cover of "Don't You (Forget About Me)."

    2.  Obsessed with this Vine of Roseanne figuring out how to use Vine. [via Vulture]

    Screen shot 2013-04-11 at 4.36.40 PM.png3.  Screengrabs from Louis CK's 2nd AMA. [via PopCultureBrain]

    11building_337-articleLarge.jpg4.  The building where the American Folk Art Museum once resided -- which is only twelve years old and is highly praised for its architectural design, by the way -- will be torn down so that MoMA can expand. [via NYTimes]

    wilder_mann_3.jpg5.  The Gallery at Hermès on Madison Avenue will be showing the photo series "Wilder Mann" by Charles Fréger from April 12th-June 8th. The series is really cool (case in point: the photo above), so we suggest you check it out.

    knockdown-center-bushwick-basel.jpg6.  Bushwick Basel is no longer going to be at the Knockdown Center in Maspeth. Jules de Balincourt, the event's orignazor, sent an email saying he was too busy to organize the June Fair this year. [via DNA Info]

    7.  Purity Ring's Megan James teamed up with producer Dre Skull and dancehall artist Popcaan on a new single, "First Time" and we like it. It comes out as a single on April 15th. [via Pitchfork]

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  • 04/12/13--07:30: PSY's Got A New Single

  • Yesterday PSY released his first post "Gangnam Style" single, called "Gentleman." He also promised that the video for "Gentleman" will involve a dance most Americans have never seen but most Koreans will know. Will it become a meme? Place your bets now. [via Mashable]

    o-JON-HAMM-YEARBOOK-PHOTOS-570.jpgFrom the Huffington Post story "Jon Hamm's Yearbook Photos Are Somewhere Between Dorky and Adorable." The Huffington Post is clearly confused about what constitutes being "dorky" in high school. If you managed to be at all attractive during adolescence, add 1,000,000 "not a dork" points.

    tumblr_ml1v43hNI81sny3y0o1_1280.jpgYup, Sports Balls Replaced With Cats is a pretty good Tumblr. [via Laughing Squid]

    Here's The Simpsons' "Breaking Bad"-inspired opening, which will air on Sunday. [via Vulture]

    tumblr_ml3aptLhJ81rn7bzro1_1280.jpgThis is our Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday (and sometimes Thursday) morning face. [via knusprig.titten.hitler]

    tumblr_ml23wjCUaG1rn7bzro1_1280.jpgSomeone get us this job right this second. We'll go out and buy the camera. [via knusprig.titten.hitler]

    700.hq.jpgWell, we would definitely take the Cher plane. [via The Onion]

    Screen shot 2013-04-12 at 8.43.10 AM.pngThis one-sided men's thong actually exists and you can order it here. [via Laughing Squid]


    Reason number 120938912080 that Prince is our favorite. [via Currency of Kindness]

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